Emberwilde Comes: Cerulean City - The Trainer

 I took a breath. No point starting in a blind run in an unknown area with unknown hazards and an unknown number of guards. Being in the interior of the building this area must be smaller than the other's I've seen so far, which honestly wasn't saying much thinking back on the huge spaces I'd seen thus far. Emberwilde had other ideas, however, emerging from his pokeball. "Where is the whelp?" he roared, nose sniffing the air.

"Char," I said still hunched down, "Lord we are not supposed to be here. I was just about to start searching for the runt, quietly."

The Charizard let out a snort, black smoke pouring from his nose. "I've found his scent," he said stomping down one of the hallways. "And a Lord can go wherever a Lord pleases. Best you remember that."

Hearing the shouts and footfalls coming toward me, I picked myself up and hurried after the fire pokemon. Running after Emberwilde, I realized the Charizard could really move when he wanted to. I always knew they were fast in the air but on the ground they typically relied on their brute strength of overwhelm their opponents. Seeing Emberwilde run on its two legs though made me wonder just how fast the pokemon could actually be.

After one more turn, Emberwilde stopped in front of a door with Ruby's name written on a piece of paper stuck to it. At the same time, a couple of guards turned a corner and spotted us. Before they could do anything, I ducked under Emberwilde's wings and pounded a fist on the door.

"Hey, what are you two doing back here?" shouted one of the guards just as the door swung open to reveal the green-haired trainer and several pokemon behind her, including the runt.

Quietly, I said, "Professor Oak asked me to introduce your Charmander to its father." The Charmander tilted its head quizzically, eyes darting back and forth between myself and Emberwilde while the Charizard's glare burned a hole in the back of my head. I kept my gaze upon Ruby, hoping that whether or not she believed my lie that at least she would let us into the room before either the guards grabbed me or my Lord set me aflame for the sleight upon his name.

After a minute, Ruby gave me a subtle nod, stepped around me and said to the gym security guards, "Sorry about the confusion. Thank you for doing your jobs so well but this is my travel companion and adviser. Just running late as he always is." She gave me a soft slap to the back of my head after the last part, and the guards shrugged their shoulders and walked back to their posts.

I felt a little insulted being shoved into the room while Ruby simply held the door for Emberwilde, allowing him to strut inside, but it was a far better outcome than being escorted out of the gym so I really couldn't complain. "So, you want to tell me why you really snuck down here, or should I call security back here? I'm sure they haven't gotten too far just yet," said Ruby, her arms crossed. Behind me, the Charmander let out a growl though after traveling with Emberwilde for several days, it might as well have been a tiny yip.

On edge after the last few tense moments without a minute to catch my breath, I whipped around to growl back at the tinier fire pokemon. "Char, Char," I said in its tongue, "Knock it off you little runt. Your betters are speaking now." The combination of my words, tone, and the glare in my eyes forced the smaller pokemon and its companions to cower back a step or two.

I didn't see Emberwilde move so much as felt the world around me shift. One moment I was staring down Ruby's pokemon, the next I was sideways and falling to the floor after Emberwilde's tail whip swept me off the ground. Once the shock wore off, I opened my eyes to find Emberwilde's face just an inch from my own. A low growl rumbled past his exposed and glistening teeth. Slowly, cautiously, I brought myself to kneel before the Charizard. "I apologize for the outburst, Lord Emberwilde. It has been a trying day. I promise to conduct myself better as one in service to your status."

Emberwilde's rage-filled eyes stared into mine long enough that I truly believed this would be my last day. After a long, long time staring into those eyes and those teeth, the Charizard's eyes finally softened. Grunting, he nodded his head toward the smaller pokemon before walking back to the corner of the room.

Still on my knees and head lowered to the floor, I turned to Ruby's pokemon. "Please excuse my earlier outburst. I meant no disrespect toward either your selves or your master." With my head bowed lower than all of their own (a difficult task considering Ruby traveled with not only a Raticate but a Pikachu as well), I then met each of their eyes to offer each a chance to reprimand me with either tail or tooth or claw.

"Okay, that's enough of that," said Ruby, yanking me to my feet by my shirt collar, "Who are you two? And what are you doing back here? And, most importantly, what the hell did you say to my pokemon that made yours attack you?"

Fighting the urge to knock the dirt and dust and whatever else happened to get onto my clothes from the floor (as the Inferno Clan tradition stated that shame should be worn as well as felt until the offender could be redeemed) I quickly explained about the Tartarus Isles, and wanting to scout the gym leader for Emberwilde's battle tomorrow. "Then seeing that look upon both of your faces after the last match, that hard look of determination unfortunately mixed with desperation, we knew we needed to speak with you and the runt -"

The slap connected with my cheek before I could finish the sentence, jarring my head to the side. Behind me, Emberwilde, as a Lord witnessing his vassal be struck unprovoked, let out a warning growl. "His name is Matches, not 'runt'," said Ruby, sternly looking at myself and then, less sternly, at Emberwilde and his teeth.

"I am sorry, Ms. Ruby, I meant no disrespect. I was merely stating what Matches would be referred to if not taken in first by Professor Oak, and then adopted by yourself." Behind me, Emberwilde's growl faded. Still, I waited until Ruby's face softened before continuing. "And that's why we needed to speak with you and Matches before the next match. You see, Matches still has the fire of one from the Inferno Clan in him, and I can see that you two are a formidable fighter. Those qualities, while helpful out in the world where fights are almost always matters of survival, in the arena, they could prove deadly to not only opponent but yourselves as well."

"If you came to tell us to back down from the next fight, you're wasting your breath," said Ruby turning her back to me.

I stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "I'm not here to talk you out of the next match. I'm just saying not to take it too far. When the time comes, and against Misty's water pokemon, trust me it will, that you two won't resort to desperation. This is just a battle for some piece of jewelry and pride, it isn't life or death."

Ruby turned on me, close enough to smell the most recent battle on her, eyes wide and full of fury. "This might just be a game for a small trinket for you, but to us, this is life and death," Ruby snarled, droplets of spittle landing on my face. Her Charmander stepped next to her, letting out its own growl in acknowledgment.

I felt as well as heard Emberwilde's stomps as he moved from his spot against the wall to right behind me before letting out his own roar. Once the room fell into a hush, he spoke, "Char Char Charizard Char Zard Char."

Though Ruby's Charmander understood Emberwilde's wisdom and guidance, I could see the confusion on the other trainer's face. "Lord Emberwilde asks why, if this was truly a life or death battle, why did Matches merely scratch at its opponent's hard shell? Why not wrench the shell open with its claws and fill its maw with the Shellder's innards? Leave it's carcass as a trophy to mark its victory as well as its territory against other challengers? This is what a fight to the death is, after all?" Seeing Ruby's face change from rage to disgust to visibly queasy as she perhaps imagined her Charmander feasting upon another pokemon, I added, "And that's why we had to speak with you both, because that wild rage still exists within your Charmander, and if your can't tame it, then it will come out, unexpectedly and very, very violently."

Covering her mouth and with averted eyes, Ruby nodded. "Thank you. I think I understand now." Swallowing her pride, and perhaps a little bit of something else, she looked at me and Emberwidle and asked, "But without Charmander's rage, it won't be able to defeat Misty. What are we supposed to do?"

 We stood in silence for a while. Eventually, Charmander spoke, tugging on Ruby's shirt as it did so. "I'll lose," it said, somberly. Though she may not speak Char, Ruby certainly understood her Charmander, dropping to a knee and embracing the fire pokemon.

And just then, it was time for the final match to start. Emberwilde and I accompanied Ruby to the trainer box, me as an "advisor" and Emberwilde as Ruby's Charmander's "father," which Emberwilde was not happy about. I think his exact words were, "No one will believe one of my blood could be so small," and yet no one questioned it. Seeing the arena up close with the roar of the crowd around me really gave perspective that this was a much bigger stage than Pewter City, and it would only get bigger.

True to their strategy, Charmander lost. It managed to put up quite a fight against Misty's Starmie after defeating her Staryu, but we all knew defeating two of the gym's water pokemon was too big of a task. Knowing it was doomed once the Starmie entered the water, Charmander instead kept to weakening the other pokemon's defenses every time the water pokemon broke the surfacewith a barrage of tail whips and leers. It got in a couple of scratches before Misty's pokemon ultimately knocked it unconscious.

Rather than watch the rest of the watch, Emberwilde and I sat comforting the defeated fire pokemon. After all, we foresaw how the rest of the match would go: knowing it didn't stand a chance alone, Charmander did its best to weaken Misty's pokemon for the rest of its team. It took the remainder of Ruby's pookemon but in the end, she was victorious!

"And that's the game folks!" boomed the announcer's voice over the loud speakers. "Congratulations to Ruby and her pokemon in their hard fought victory against the best of the Cerulean gym."

Both trainer and gym leader returned their pokemon to their respective pokeballs before meeting in the middle of the arena. Emberwilde and I watched as Ruby wiped tears of joy from her face as Misty presented her with the Cascade Badge, a "shiny trinket" we'd soon win ourselves.

"Good luck on the rest of your journey and take care of yourself," I said as Ruby and I parted ways outside the gym, me back to the pokemon center for the night and Ruby onto the next town, "as well as your Charmander. I see now that its spirit would make it a fine member of the Inferno Clan."

"Thanks," Ruby said, looking over at her Charmander a couple steps away speaking with Lord Emberwilde, "I'll be sure to raise it right and provide it with the strongest companions I can." Then, leaning closer to me, she added, "And make sure to take care of yourself too. Your Charizard seems like it could kill you if he wanted to."

I laughed, nervously. "Yeah, he probably will." Hoping my smile would ease the look of horror on Ruby's face, I walked over to Emberwilde's side.

"Char Charizard," Emberwilde said passing along words of advice given to all new members of the Inferno Clan when the come of age. Charmander listened intently and nodded aggressively with a big smile on his face. Noticing me standing near, he turned and headed back to his own trainer. We gave each other one last wave before parting ways. Turning down the street, Emberwilde let out a grunt and a puff of smoke from his nostrils.

"Yeah, I saw her too," I replied, "and I'm sure she saw us too." I closed my eyes for a moment, bringing up the image of Ruby and Charmander waving to us. Then, focusing on the alley just behind the two stood Misty and a hooded figure. Misty was listening and didn't look happy. She glared at Emberwilde, just for an instant, before reluctantly taking something from the unknown person.

"You think whatever she got is meant for you tomorrow?" I asked redundantly, not even needing to turn my head to sense Emberwilde's affirmation.

"The next match may become a fight to the death," Emberwilde replied. I turned my head quizzically as the fire pokemon continued, "A scent lingering on the other person. I recognized it from back home. Back from the Tartarus Isles." Then, he vanished back into his pokeball, leaving me alone to contemplate who else from back home could be in town.

I know, right, I'm still writing this thing! Yes, one practice Reddit post from years ago is still at it, bothering me, nagging me to be worked upon. So, if somehow you made it all the way to the end of these posts (however many I split it into) or just the end of this one without having read any of the other "Emberwilde Comes" stories and are wondering, "what the hell is this?" well the short answer is simply Pokemon Fanfic. And, for a more detailed explanation: The Bearer, our main protagonist, comes from a land (The Tartarus Isles) where not only are all the pokemon naturally at a high level, but they're also the dominant species. Every year, each clan sends their Champion to the Kanto Region and, transported by their Bearer, must defeat each gym leader to earn the right to compete against the other Clan Champions for the right to rule the isles for the next year (or something like that, I haven't given that part too much thought ... yet). So far, we've chosen the Inferno Clan's Bearer, traveled from the Tartarus Isles, though Pallet Town, challenged Brock at Pewter City, encountered Team Rocket while traversing Mt Moon, and even defeated Misty, a part I wrote a while back out of boredom.

I did try to do some research (the bare minimum of course) into Pokemon Red and Blue, thinking I could perhaps use that walkthrough as a mirror/ guide to this series. In an effort to not add too much, I did cut out the idea of introducing another Bearer from the Tartarus Isles as a sort of "rival scene" (I'll do it later). I do feel a little proud of putting in the other Kanto trainer who took the Charmander, not only because I always chose Charmander but because I always wondered what happened to the other three trainers out of Pallet Town (they only every showed Ash and Gary in the show).

And yes, as much as I'm trying to get away from this series (because, hey, unless Nintendo is willing to cut me a check, no way is any of this profitable), I do have more scenes planned (no, not what happens next unfortunately ... or fortunately?) but not the next scene so it isn't something to be worked on soon, just to end on a happy thought for the three of you who still read this trash.

Emberwilde Comes: Cerulean City - The Welcome

Previously on Emberwilde Comes, our heroes survived their trek through Mt Moon as well as an encounter with the evil Team Rocket. Now, emerging in Cerulean City, a new challenge awaits them.

Upon entering Cerulean City, I felt the instinctive fear all fire types feel when confronted with water. It was overwhelming as my vision filled with more water than I'd seen for the past couple of days. In addition to a natural flowing river surrounding the city, pokemon and humans splashed and swam in a multitude of deep pools while a giant waterpark threatened to flood five blocks in all directions. The worst were the variety of signs and billboards depicting oceans or rainstorms for water-themed businesses that appeared themselves to blot out the sky. Having lived my entire life on an island, I managed to wall off the fear fairly quickly but not before spending a full-minute taking it all in, my body giving an involuntary shudder. I wanted to leave Cerulean City as soon as I set foot in it.

I took an step back, wondering if Emberwilde and I could skip this city, that perhaps he may earn a badge at another, more obscure gym. After all, The Champion merely needs to win eight badges to participate in the End of Year Tournament, not necessarily from the same gyms mapped out every year. I froze, remembering the message, no, the taunt waiting for Emberwilde just outside the gates. An Atreolpeaf tree, native to the Tartarus Isles, stood amongst a small grove of native Kanto trees, its usually bright orange flowers already fading to an ashy gray. Carved into the tree was a raindrop with three rings wrapped around it's bottom. The Forest Clan had already passed through here at least four days ago judging by the rate of decay of the Atreolpeaf tree struggling to survive without the Tartarus Isle's volcanic soil. The Rainmaker clan then passed through, perhaps right after them, though stopping briefly to carve into the tree. Neither of the two would've had a problem against the Rock Pokemon at the previous gym, nor run into as much trouble as I had in crossing under Mt. Moon.

The anger recovered my desire to bear the Inferno Clan Champion across Kanto, and if that path forced us to confront our most difficult opponent so early in our travels, then so be it. Emberwilde would crush all challengers put before him. My fire restored, I strode into Cerulean City with my head held high.

I discussed with Emberwilde what our next step should be outside the caves of Mt. Moon especially with half of our party exhausted, injured, or both. Emberwilde, as any warrior of the Inferno Clan would, argued that we simply needed a couple days of rest before continuing onward. Reminding him of the head start the other clans had, I suggested the use of a "Pokemon Center," a place we were told housed machines that could heal pokemon in minutes. As much as he hated the idea, Emberwilde eventually accepted my suggestion, grudgingly, and simply returned to his pokeball.

Alone and unprepared at what I might find, I walked hesitantly into the Pokemon Center. Immediately, my senses were overwhelmed: bright florescent lights reflecting off of clean white linoleum floors, the overpowering smell of antiseptics so heavy in its use I could taste its bitterness and feel it on my skin, and, most of all, the eerie quietness of it all as people and pokemon alike waited patiently while a pink-haired woman (perhaps a relative of the Nurse Joy from back home) simply smiled politely from the other side of a desk. Back home, healers were always patching someone up whether from a hunt or battle or simply an accident. There were always two or three Pokemon or people waiting to be seen, the air filled with their groans and whines, the stench of blood a constant.

Hesitantly, I walked through the waiting room to the woman sitting behind the desk. The nurse's smile didn't quite reach her eyes, as she said, "Welcome to the Cerulean City Pokemon Center. I'm Nurse Joy. How can I help you today?"

Panic set in briefly as all the information I received with the other prospective Bearers about the workings of the Kanto healers vanished from my mind. "Umm," I stammered, "I'd like to use your machine?"

Nurse Joy's smile disappeared, turning to confusion. "Sorry, I don't quite understand."

"Chansey?" came another voice from the other side of the table. Looking over, standing next to Nurse Joy, was a pink Chansey wearing a similar hat. "Are you here to heal your pokemon?" the Chansey repeated.

My panic faded to relief upon seeing the pokemon in a familiar setting. "Chansey," I said in greeting, "Yes, but I don't understand this place." After admitting confusion, the Chansey grabbed a tray with six cut-outs, each the size of a pokeball, then pointed at a machine off to the side. Nurse Joy looked from the Chansey to myself in confusion for another second until she simply shrugged her shoulders.

I placed five red-and-white pokeballs and a black-and-red one into the tray. Simultaneously, Nurse Joy and I grabbed the tray. Swiftly, I released the tray and then snatched Emberwilde's ball back. Apologizing, I said, "Sorry, but as Emberwilde's Bearer, I cannot allow anyone else to handle his dwelling, especially not with The Lord inside."

Again, confusion appeared on Nurse Joy's face for a moment until her eyes widened in understanding. "Ahh, another from the Tartarus Isles. My cousin told me that you all would be starting your journey soon. I also should've guessed once I saw you were able to converse with Chansey." Taking the tray, Nurse Joy motioned for me to come around the desk to the Kanto healing machine with Emberwilde's ball. "Yes, your ... rivals, as the kids call them, were here several days ago, and were just as adamant about holding onto one particular pokemon. A .... Champion, I think they were referred to as."

Nurse Joy placed my tray of pokemon into the machine and I dropped Emberwilde's ball back into the empty spot. A glass lid covered the pokeballs as the machine began a series of whirls and beeps, lights flashing. "You can have a seat with the others," Nurse Joy said, pointing back to a set of chairs, "It could take a little while to make sure all your pokemon are up to full health."

I sat and watched people walk in and out of the Pokemon Center, some pokemon in need of healing after a battle while others were just in need of a check-up as if they were pets. The relationship between Pokemon and people continued to astound me the more I traveled the region. Could it work this way back home in the Tartarus Isles? Could Lord Emberwilde and I truly become equals?

A series of loud mechanical chimes awakened me from my daydream. Nurse Joy waved to me as she said, "Your Pokemon are fully healed." After placing each ball back onto my belt, I caught her giving me a quick glance up and down. "Um, in case you were interested, we do have some bunks available if you needed a rest, as well as a shower and laundry service."

I caught a glimpse of my dirt-stained face reflected in the countertop and took a subtle whiff of my clothes. I nodded in agreement with Nurse Joy as Professor Oak's bathing comments once again played in my mind. "Thank you. But first I believe Emberwilde would like to win the Cascade Badge from your city's gym leader. We're already a couple days behind our Tartarus Isle rivals."

"Oh my," Nurse Joy said before I could head out the door, "Well, I believe another challenge is already underway, but I'm sure Misty could make time for you after her battle. A young woman from Pallet Town if I remember correctly."

I shook my head. "Oh, if that's the case, then perhaps we should wait until tomorrow. It wouldn't be in the Tartarus Isle way to challenge someone right after they've dueled another. Maybe I'll head over though just to watch the battle."

As if simply thinking aloud, Nurse Joy said, "Interesting. We rarely treat fire-type pokemon here, much less two in a single day."

Instead of going directly to the gym, I spent a good part of an hour wandering the city before realizing I'd passed it twice, mistaking it for a giant aquarium instead. The building was massive, much bigger than the Pewter City gym, complete with a towering five-story glass tank filled with almost every known water pokemon: schools of Goldeen, clusters of Shellder, and even a Gyarados serpentining the entire enclosure. My focus on the incredible sight, I almost didn't hear the cheers and jeers echoing from inside on my third pass, the unmistakable sounds of a crowd entertained by competition.

Pushing open the door, I found myself in a hallway lined with glass cases and frames containing all manner of memento and memorabilia celebrating the Cerulean City gym: trophies and medals celebrating previous victories and achievements; pictures, statues, and articles honoring pokemon and trainers. Filled with equal parts terror and amazement, my footsteps echoed as I crept deeper into my enemy's den afraid that not even Emberwilde's flame could protect us here.

Through the doors at the other end of the hall, I finally entered the arena just as the battle ended. Bright lights shone on an enormous above ground glass pool probably close to thirty feet deep. Separated by a hundred feet on opposite ends of the pool were two raised platforms where the pokemon trainers stood. Several pillars raising just above the waterline and platforms floating upon the water gave a place for non-swimming pokemon to stand.

My eyes though immediately focused on the pokemon standing atop one of the floating platforms - a Charmander, breathing heavily and tail-flame waning. I gasped, and finding Emberwilde's pokeball in my hand, had to restrain myself from releasing a Lord of the Inferno Clan into the arena to rescue a fellow fire-type pokemon surrounded on all sides by water. Taking a moment to compose myself, I pondered why a Charmander would be battling in a water gym in the first place, especially, according to my previous conversation with Professor Oak, they were considered rare in the Kanto region.

Focusing my gaze upon the giant screen above the arena, I saw that Charmander belonged to the Trainer, Ruby, the girl with green hair on one side of the pool. It looked as if four of her pokemon had already been knocked out of the match, leaving her with just two left. Was this a desperate gambit, a show of pride, or did she actually have a good reason for sending out the fire pokemon? Then I noticed the screen also displayed where Ruby hailed from, "Pallet Town."

I returned my eyes to the Charmander, staring hard for any tell-tale clue. Professor Oak said that the Inferno Clan sends its runts away as a mercy but also to help bolster their population in the Kanto Region. If this girl was from Pallet Town, could that Charmander be one of ours, from our clan? I pitied the poor thing having to grow so far from home yet knew it was for the best. Seeing the determination in its eyes though filled me with a pride that even though one may be raised and coddled in a softer world, the natural predator instinct still remained.

Through the glass, a Shellder swam circles around the platform, though far slower than it should. After three laps, it sprang from the water, seeking to tackle the fire pokemon and knock it into the pool.

"Charmander, behind you!" warned Ruby. Turning at the last moment, the Charmander took the full force of the tackle, the Shellder hitting his chest. I gasped, watching Charmander slide backwards as the Shellder drove them both to the edge of the platform. Claws digging into the floating block, the Charmander halted their momentum inches from the water. Then, it switched from defense to offense.

Seeing the tables turned, the green-haired trainer didn't hesitate. "Now's your chance. Use scratch attack!" she shouted. Gripping his opponent with both clawed hands, Charmander threw the water pokemon down onto the platform. Out of water and its speed reduced, Shellder could do nothing but sit motionless as Charmander laid into it continuously with both claws. Although many of the strikes simply sounded like nails raking against stone, several sounded closer to a butcher's cleaver chopping into a slab of beef. After a few seconds of perhaps two dozen strikes, the Shellder flipped onto its back, and, not a second later, the judge's bell rang out through the stadium.

"Let's hear it for the challenger, Ruby, in a well fought battle against Cerulean City's own Brooke. We will now take a fifteen minute break to allow our trainers and their pokemon a short rest and to reset the stage before our final bout of the day, the challenger Ruby against your very own Ccrulean City gym leader, Misty! Food and drinks can be bought at the concession stands, and a reminder that the second and third floor restrooms have been opened for use. We'll see you all back here in fifteen minutes for the start of our last match."

The crowds parted around me giving me a wide berth though I'm unsure if it was due to my focused, unbroken gaze upon the green-haired trainer, or (recounting earlier remarks) perhaps I really did need a bath. Through the crowd, I watched as Charmander finally returned to its trainer's side. Seeing her look the pokemon over for major injuries before pulling him into a hug assured me the runt would be properly cared for in Kanto. As she sprayed a medicine from a potion vial, her mouth moved and I saw the fire pokemon respond simply with a nod of his head. No doubt praising the pokemon on the hard won fight, or talking strategy for their next fight. As they spoke though, I noticed something in their eyes, the looks of determination changing, hardening into something else entirely. Something more primal, a look I'd seen too many times in the Tartarus Isles, and one I never expected to see here amongst children vying for shiny trinkets. As I shook in fear, the two of them made their way down a tunnel and out of view.

Following a person is similar to stalking prey, the basics of which are taught to all in the Inferno Clan at a young age. Falling in with the herd of people, I slipped around the concession filled with smells that made my stomach growl, and the long, snaking lines of people with uncomfortable faces and oddly-dancing children. I needed to speak with Ruby and the runt before the next match or else something terrible may occur. Though I could easily let Emberwilde loose to knock down doors, because I planned to be back tomorrow (and remembering the trouble caused when he burned down one gym), I decided this search would instead focus on stealth and subtlety.

Though I'd never navigated a jungle like this one, the basics should still remain the same. I stayed mixed with the crowd, always right behind a group as my eyes scanned for an opening. After a few minutes, I finally caught a break when I overheard a man at the concession stand order another to take a tray of food for "the challenger." Following right behind, I quickly grabbed at the door marked "Restricted Access," feigning courtesy as I held the door for the man with the tray. Then, I slipped in and took cover behind a stack of crates as the door closed. A new maze where I clearly didn't belong, this new section would require speed more than anything.

Books of 2022: Quarter 3

 Catching up on 7th grade reading

 

Search for Senna by K. A. Applegate

"Slowly Senna climbed to her feet. She turned and looked at us. She was maybe a hundred feet away.
     I could see confusion on her face.
     Her mouth formed the word, 'no.'
     And then the entire universe ripped apart."

Mysteriously called together one early morning, a group of average high school kids witness one of their own dragged through a portal in the jaws of a giant wolf, ripped from our world into another. In its wake, the four are brought through as well as the portal closes behind them. David, Christopher, April, and Jalil (almost strangers to one another) find themselves prisoners in Everworld, another dimension created by the old gods when they retired from Earth. Held captive by Loki accused of hiding his captured witch, the four of them search for not only a way to return home but also to save Senna, where she may be.

Land of Loss by K. A. Applegate

 

"Somehow, someway, for some reason, the old gods of Earth decided to abandon the real world. We didn't know why....
     They brought along all the creatures of myth and legend. And they dragged a healthy number of humans across with them, because, hey, what's the point in being a god if there's no one around to kiss your immortal butt."

Alongside Vikings, the stranded teenagers set sail for the realm of the Aztecs and their sun god, Huitzilopoctli. In an effort to secure the release of Odin from Loki's clutches, the Vikings need to take the sun god's head, while the group goes along believing themselves safe amongst the Vikings in case Loki comes for them. Christopher witnesses the horrors of combat and violence and so much worse in the clutches of the Aztecs. The group will need to rely on one another to not only survive the ordeal but escape to find their way home.

Enter the Enchanted by by K. A. Applegate

 

"We don't exactly know what Everworld is. We know it is a universe constructed by the fugitive gods of ancient Earth. We know that recently alien immortals have found their way in. Interlopers in a private chat room."

Reunited with Senna, April and the group find themselves in the company of Galahad and other knights of the Round Table. Momentarily safe within castle walls, the group looks to Senna for answers and only receives more questions: Is Senna really a witch? Is she their only way home as well as the way for every other being in Everworld to return to Earth? Can they escape Everworld, back to their lives, knowing that the monsters in Everworld can also use her a a portal to escape back to Earth?

Realm of the Reaper by K. A. Applegate

 

"Then the pig said, 'Give me your apples. Give me your apples or I'll gut you, one by one.'
     We gave him our apples.
     Just another day in Everworld."

Trudging through the woods, Jalil and the group are swept into an unsettling city at the base of a mountain where the guards face inward, allowing anyone to enter but ensuring no one leaves. The group finds themselves the guests of Hel, daughter of Loki and Ruler of the Viking underworld.

Discover the Destroyer by K. A. Applegate

 

"There was a stone, a ruby inside by chest. Right where my heart should be. And in six days it would burst into flame and kill me. We were thirsty, hungry, exhausted. Our heads, or at least my head, was full of recent memories of unspeakable horror.
     But I was feeling strangely upbeat."

David and the gang are set on a quest by a robbed dragon from Norse mythology - get my treasure back from the fairies, or the rubies swapped for your hearts will ignite and kill you. The five teenagers discover fairy land isn't quite what the real world makes them out to be, finding instead a giant marketplace - the hub of all of Everworld's commerce. Getting back the treasures is never as easy as just asking, and the fairies are too martially superior to swing a sword at. Instead the group will need to come up with something of value to trade, but what can they offer when the fairies not only control hordes of riches but they're also bargaining against the god-eater, Ka-Anor?

Fear the Fantastic by K. A. Applegate

 

"Whenever Everwold me went to sleep I sort of snapped back into the continuing saga of boring, real-world me.
     A great life. I could be dragon food one minute, fall asleep, and still have to face the SAT's.
     Here's a news flash: Life isn't fair."

Things had just started to look up for Christopher and the gang: They got their hearts back from a greedy dragon, they escaped an entire city of fairies that hated them, and now they were rich with a backpack full of diamonds. In Everworld though good things don't last forever, as the group finds themselves not only captured by Hetwan aliens but heading right into their territory. Promised immortality by a captured Greek god, the group finds they'll still need to pass right through Ka-Anor's capital to reach the relative safety of Olympus.

Gateway to the Gods by K. A. Applegate

 

"'Yeah. You know what? Screw their little temper tantrums. I'm tired of this. This is what comes from having your butt kissed for thousands of years. Reality time for the gods starts right now.'
     I think all three of us were proud of David at that moment.
     And all three of us edged slowly away from him."

Atop Mt. Olympus, the group finds a sanctuary they had yet to experience in their entire time in Everwold: A soothing bath, plentiful food, soft beds. The only downside appears to be the army of Hetwan marching against the Olympian gods who appear to be indifferent to the threat they face. April and the group must work to not only unite the gods but also assist in the effort to drive back the Hetwan army.

Brave the Betrayal by K. A. Applegate

 

"We had to figure out how to undo our careless mistake. We weren't exactly the serpents in the Garden of Eden, but we had managed to take a bad situation and make it worse.
     We had introduced gunpowder."

"Yeah, Jalil, tell yourself that's all there is to it. Tell yourself it's not personal. It's not ego. Real-world reason meets magic? No, real-world, nuclear-age ruthlessness meets Everworld naivete."

The Coo-Hatch, alien mortals kidnapped by their own alien god, have proven themselves a threat but also proven that they can be bargained with. The price - to be returned home and leave Everworld behind. The group is tasked by the Olympian gods to find Senna's mother, a priestess of Isis who can supposedly create a strong enough gateway to the Coo-Hatch home. On their way to the land of the Egyptian gods however, Jalil and the rest will need to cross the African region. Confronted and confounded by a messenger, the group will fight against a simple request but one that also challenges their beliefs - give a sacrifice in honor of the gods. In the real world, Jalil also faces an even more terrifying challenge - asking a girl on a date.

Inside the Illusion by K. A. Applegate

 

"They saw me as a witch. A gateway. A mutant freak who lived in both universes at once. To the gods I was a tool or an impediment. But they did not fear me, oh not yet. They didn't fear me because they didn't understand. They didn't see the crucial fact."

The group's entry into Egypt to search for Senna's mother, of course, does not go as smoothly as they hoped. They find Egypt choked and starved due to the damming of the Nile by dwarves. The city itself, its temples and palaces, are ruled by Amazons who are systematically looting everything of value while the Egyptian gods lay dormant. Expecting to find in her mother a power like herself, Senna instead finds a sad and scared woman simply looking to run to the next easiest thing - an utter disappointment in Senna's eyes. but the group will still need her to complete their bargain with the Coo-Hatch and turn the dies in the war with Ka-Anor.

Understand the Unknown by K. A. Applegate

 

"Didn't want to go to sleep and cross over to the real world, the old world. Just wasn't in the mood to deal with my mother or my job or school or any of those other people and things about my old life that no longer seemed very important."

Having escaped Egypt with a promise from Senna's mother to help send the Coo-Hatch back home, the group sets sail for Olympus. Thanks to Merlin's meddling, and a god-created storm, David and the group are sunk down into Neptune's domain where the psychopathic god rules his denizens through fear. Finding himself against a foe that could drown them with a thought, one that he cannot fight through brute force, David must find another way to save his team and escape. 

Mystify the Magician by K. A. Applegate

 

"'I'll go with you,' I said, startling myself and earning an honest surprised look from Elf Mommy, and a look of warm appreciation from Etain.
     'You will?' April said, more puzzled than impressed.
     'Yeah. Someone's going to need to show these two heroes how to run away.'"

Arriving back on the surface, the group find themselves on Eire shores in a town under the protection of Merlin himself. A town, in fact, though missing the protection of a god, managed to not only thrive, but even embrace the technology brought to Everworld by the group: electricity, telegraph, even a working cable car. Christopher even finds - love. Though safe for the moment, the group knows it is only a matter of time until Merlin's return. Senna though, unwilling to wait until she is formally captured, begins to enact her master plan, jeopardizing Christopher, the group, and even Everworld itself.

Entertain the End by K. A. Applegate

 

"Now, here we were, the four of us, planning an invasion of Hel's domain, fading or already gone in the real world, more than  likely we'd spend the rest of our lives in Everworld, a place of massive uncertainty, fear, and violence. And on some distant level, I really didn't mind."

April, the group, and a few others escape the capture of Merlinshire by Senna's soldiers but now see a new threat. With the Sennites, armed with real-world technology, now leaderless, and Ka-Anor, the alien God-Eater, both a threat to Everworld, the group decides it is finally time to gather forces to destroy one of the groups before they team-up and destroy Everworld together. To do so means another trip to Hel to rescue a couple of imprisoned gods, a realm none of them are happy about revisiting.

I don't remember exactly what it was that even reminded me of a book series I started in middle school and never finished as the school library only carried the first couple of books. So anyway, reminded, I first checked Amazon to make sure ALL the books were for sale (no point in buying a couple at a time only to find even just one book missing), then splurged and bought them all at once. So, that's what the reading list looked like for a while, though it really should not have taken me three months to finish as the books are meant for folks much younger than me. I know when I got caught up in it, it took me less than a week to finish a book but other things came up and some days I wouldn't read at all. And if you read the last book post, you know what that thing is.

Like another K. A. Applegate series, "Animorphs" (another I also never finished), each book is narrated by a different character from their perspective. Also like "Animorphs," this wasn't the typical teenage power trip fantasy that I was used to at the time. The four main characters are way out of their depth in dealing with the threats Everworld presents. David attempts to deal with it with bravery and confidence, and finds himself severely lacking. He isn't just a child facing battle-hardened adults, but a child fighting monsters and gods. Christopher is the jester of the group, using humor and jokes to deal with his fears. He even acknowledges his fear, just wanting to run away back home to his couch and television. April is the most sensible of the group, the "good girl" who spends her time at school and church and drama club. She attempts to balance out everyone's personalities to help them survive the situation they find themselves. Jalil is the logical one, always looking for a way to make sense of Everworld as fantastical of a place as it is. In the real world, he's plagued by his own demons, a severe case of OCD, but finds himself now fully in control of himself in Everworld.

Everworld itself is a patchwork of different old-world lands and religions and myths pieced together in a way for them all to exist in one seamless space. It's something that little kid me liked to read about, stories of old gods and heroes and monsters - simple stories that older me now knows were simple because myths are how they used to teach, and there's no point in trying to teach someone if the story you're using is just going to go over there head. And little-kid me liked seeing these different ideas blended together - "hey, what if we take these things and just blend them together?" - especially toward the end when we get to see real-world knowledge and tactics challenge the supernatural. I mean, I've probably written stories like that and will continue to write things like that (isn't that what Urban Fantasy is?).

As the series goes along, the group is faced with not the fear of death but even deeper, philosophical questions which Applegate poses to young readers. They find themselves questioning reality and if their Everworld lives have become more important than their real-world selves. Is their lives in a fantasy world really more important than their their mundane lives which is seemingly being left behind? David faces his past trauma to find where his need to always be brave comes from. Christopher, a borderline racist, sexist, alcoholic, and all-around asshole, grows-up after not only meeting people worse than him, but also those that are his better. April's faith is questioned when she calls out to the gods she can see instead of the one the believes in. Jalil's notions of logic, science, and rationalism are challenged constantly by Everworld's fantastical elements which at times hinders the group until he can find a way to balance both in his mind.

The end of the series, now that I somehow know more about books and publishing (thanks writer interviews), makes me think that the deal was only for 12 books and the publisher was unwilling to extend the contract. Who knows, maybe I have that wrong and it did end right where the writer wanted it to end. It just felt unfinished as the major threat was still out there in Everworld and the group simply leaves their real-world selves behind, fully investing in Everworld. Sorry for the 20 year old spoiler. I get that they killed their (possibly) only way back to Earth but I Applegate could have written a way for the group to find a way back if more time was given.

Books of 2022: Quarter 2

From the image you might think that I spent the last three months doing a lot of reading but really it was just the first two months and then my reading stalled out real quick (more on that at the end)

 

 

 How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

"If you are reading this Repair Guide, then you will not be returning to the future, and we apologize for any alleged failures in the FC3000tm, real or implied, that facilitated this scenario.
     If you would like to make peace with the idea that you will never return to your friends and family, please do so now. It helps to focus on the things you didn't like about them, such as their irritating habits or weird smells"

"How can you tell if they're safe to eat? A bad answer is 'eat a bunch and see if you die,' a better answer is 'eat just a little bit and see if you die,' but the best answer is 'read this section and then remember what you read, because there's actually a way to eat strange foods relatively safely.'"

Introduced as a sort-of manual for a futuristic time-travel device, after a brief introduction the manual jumps to a repair guide in case your rental time machine breaks down ... and guess what, there isn't one. Instead what follows is a guide to restarting civilization from the very beginning of human history, you know, to make you more comfortable with your situation, assuming you're stranded in the past. Though humorous throughout, the book (obviously) is still dense with fact and knowledge, enough so that I split my reading into two parts with another fiction book inbetween (yeah, you guessed it, another Jack Reacher novel). I'd put this book on a "Books to Buy" list (yeah, I've got one of those) because I'd been watching Dr. Stone at the time and, from the title of the book alone, I was interested. Dr. Stone, in case you don't know, is an anime in which every human on Earth is turned to stone for ... a long time (millennia, I think, I forgot) until Senku, a high-school genius, breaks free and sets to restoring civilization using his knowledge to re-create everything from ramen to radios. So a book that could give me the knowledge to make me the main protagonist in case the world suddenly needs to restart ... how could I pass that up? Yes, I know it won't as I barely remember what the different sections were, not to mention with my luck, day one of the apocalypse will find me in a rainstorm, soaking the book and once again making me useless.

Several sections include:
1. Five fundamentals you'll need to restart civilization: a) Spoken Language, b) Written Language, c) Numbers, d) the Scientific Method, and e) a Calorie Surplus (because you can't create civilization if most of your time is spent looking for food)

2. The Basics of Farming such as setting-up a crop rotation to make the most of your land

3. Useful Plants and Animals, and where and when they were first found (and possibly domesticated) so you know what to look for depending where and obviously when (see broken time machine) on Earth you're stranded

4. Re-creating musical instruments (percussion, string, and wind), the sounds most people find appealing and how to recreate that, and even how to read music

5. Computers, or at least the basics of it using logic machines. Honestly, I got bored at this part and didn't finish it. Really, I'm hoping that enough of the previous sections stay with me just so I have the basics, but this part, I'm not too concerned about using as, if the world is relying on me, then we're all already fucked.

Also, I made it through about half the book before I realized that the "ADVANCE UNCORRECTED PROOFS - NOT FOR SALE" marking on the cover is not a design but designates this book as an advanced copy that somehow got out to the public (I found it for $6 at Book-Off), which explains some of the publishing errors. Now though, I'm not sure if this particular book would actually help me as the marking does indicate that there are definitely errors, possibly with some of the facts too.

Worth Dying For by Lee Child

"He lived in a world where you don't start fights but you sure as hell finish them, and you don't lose them either, and he was the inheritor of generations of hard-won wisdom that said the best way to lose them was to assume they were over when they weren't yet."

"The standard first-aid remedies taught by the army medics were artificial respiration and external chest compressions, eighty beats a minute, as long as it took, but Reacher's personal rule of thumb was never to revive a guy who had just pulled a gun on him. He was fairly inflexible on the matter."

Passing through a small town, Jack Reacher finds himself at a motel bar next to a doctor refusing to treat a patient. After a little persuasion, Reacher discovers the woman's husband is the culprit but she asks Reacher not to retaliate, which of course doesn't happen. That's when Reacher finds out just who it is he's messed with - the one family in the town that everyone fears. Just looking to hitch a ride out of town, Reacher finds himself hunted on acres of flat farmland with no where to hide.

In the middle of How to Invent Everything, I decided to take a breather with another Jack Reacher novel, this one the missing book I hadn't been able to find. Taking place after 61 Hours, Reacher still bares the injuries of surviving an explosion, dragging himself out of a cavern against hurricane-force winds. Though injured, Reacher barely slows down as he sets out to deliver his own style of justice on those that would make themselves his enemy. Unlike many of the other books, this one doesn't quite stand-alone as it references the previous book in Reacher's injuries and for the destination he is traveling. Based on what I skimmed online, it's actually part of a set of four books that sort-of interconnect (at least more so than other Jack Reacher novels) ending with Never Go Back which the second Tom Cruise movie was based upon.

Monster Hunter Alpha by Larry Correia

"'Silver bullets,' he explained. He stuck his gun back into his holster, then took a cigarette out of his coat and put it in his mouth. 'Your regular ones won't do shit to a werewolf. I'll give you a B for effort, though.'"

"Maybe that amulet granted immortality, and then again, maybe nobody had every bothered to shoot the son of bitch wearing it with an 84mm high-explosive round from a recoilless rifle before. Immortality was a relative term in this business."

Earl Harbinger, the nearly immortal werewolf and current leader of Monster Hunter International, is also one of a few PUFF exempt creatures, his safety earned through service to the United States of America. His past however comes back to haunt him when he's given intel that a monster from his time in Vietnam resurfaced in America looking to become the king of the werewolves. Not wanting to involve the rest of them team in his mess, Harbinger sets off to Michigan to confront an old enemy, and instead finds a plot much more sinister.

It took me a forever to find this book. I kept think I'd eventually find it on my next trip to Barnes and Nobles so I'd hold off on ordering it online only to continuously find it not in stock. So, I gave up and ordered it. The third book in the Monster Hunter International series, this one though, not focusing on Owen Pitt (the protagonist of the last two books). Instead, this one stars Earl Harbinger as he tackles problems from his past. Just as in the last two books, this one is again filled with blockbuster-movie levels of action. If you like action and guns and monsters and violence but never believed you could find it all in one book, well this is the series for you to read.

Verity by Colleen Hoover

The first sentence of the book: "I hear the crack of his skull before the splattering of blood reaches me."

Lowen is a small-time writer struggling financially when she receives a request to takeover the book series of another author, Verity Crawford, an established and well-known author. Reluctant at first, Lowen eventually agrees on behalf of the writer's husband, Jeremy. Upon arriving at their home to review Verity's notes, she finds Verity in a nearly vegetative state, the result of a car accident. In her search of Verity's office however, she finds an autobiography supposedly written by Verity herself that paints an image of the writer that grows more and more disturbing the further she reads. Stuck in the house with a man she's growing more and more fond of everyday and a women she's growing equally fearful of, Lowen searches for the truth behind this family's tragic history.

Not a book I would've picked up on my own. At the time I'm writing this, I recognize Hoover's name from the multiple times it appears on the weekly top-seller list. I have no idea what other types of books she writes, I'm completely unfamiliar with her work. But my co-worker had just finished it, describing it as a suspense/ mystery story. I immediately assumed, "Oh, like all those Jack Reacher novels you see me reading. Okay, I'll take a look." Then I read the teaser on the back of the book and thought, "Oh, not like those Jack Reacher novels," disappointed. Then, on the very first fucking page, some guy gets his head crushed under a bus, and I was hooked. Just some random dude getting hit and squished by a bus, some random guy we never learn more about, at all, through the rest of the book. The rest of the book though follows suit in terms of graphic nature, mostly a lot of sex scenes (one of the reasons I got the book was because my co-worker didn't want to share it with her dad as she normally does, "because sharing a book filled with sex with my dad, and then talking about it is weird."). If you can handle that, the rest of the book balances out the erotica with creepiness and suspense as Lowen tries to find the truth behind Verity and what is happening in the house.

Spoiler Spoiler Spoiler: I should really put this here first because well, according to the newspaper, this is a best-seller, so there might be a better than the usual minuscule chance someone (for reasons unknown to me) is looking for books using my dumb blog and may actually want to read this. Okay that's enough time for you to scroll past to the next book (just look for the next picture):

What a bullshit ending! So, did Verity really kill her child? Is she really as malicious as she appears in her autobiography or was it really just a writing exercise as she claimed in her letter? Who fucking cares? Apparently a lot of people from the other reviews I've seen online. The person we should be looking at is Jeremy, who in my theory, brought in Lowen not because of her writing style but because she writes mysteries and thrillers, and who better to help you figure out how to murder your wife and not leave behind evidence than someone who technically does it for a living?

Spaceship Earth by 

Simon Gunslinger is smart, creative, and wealthy, all the traits one needs to help a select group of humans to escape a dying Earth and set out into space in search of a new home and to discover if space really is infinite. The crew of a thousand people leave Earth in Simon's giant spaceship Gaea, a ship that will eventually become the size of a planet, and set out to explore. They'll discover alien races, resolve internal conflicts, and even discover worlds that could sustain human life.

So, I bought this at Kawaii Kon for $5 because, well, another writer was selling it and I'm a writer and it was just $5 (I spent a lot more for less that day), and nothing has inspired me more to continue with my own writing in a long time. And if you know me, you know it wasn't because I thought, "Wow, this is so good. I can't believe this guy wrote this on his own, self-published it, and sold his work at Kawaii Kon." It wasn't that at all. In fact there were so many errors (spelling, formatting, etc) that I know I can do better, and yet this guy put his writing into print and decided, "Yeah, I can sell this to the public." I guess that is one of the issues with self-publishing: some words were merged rather than having a space between them, some spelling errors and grammatical mistakes, extra line breaks, etc. I will admit, I did like the twist ending but the way the story flowed, well, I could tell it was written by someone more adept and familiar with writing scripts and screenplays: not a lot, if any, descriptions or setting up of scenes as that is usually done visually for the TV audience, and a lot more focus put into "telling" the reader what is happening (the whole story is a series of journal entries until the very end). All in all, it was a quick read over a couple lunch breaks, and hopefully (as stated before) gets me to start writing more often.

Night School by Lee Child

Jack Reacher is awarded a medal for service to his country. He is then sent to school under the pretense of inter-agency cooperation along with other outstanding agents from the CIA and FBI. Reacher and the others soon learn that the school is a cover to allow them to work secretly on a single tip received by the National Security Agency from an asset in Germany embedded within a Jihadist sleeper cell: "'The American wants a hundred million dollars,' said the Saudi Courier." Reacher and company are tasked with locating the American before he can offload his merchandise. But what exactly can he move that would cost a hundred million dollars?

Another Jack Reacher novel, this one set back when Reacher was still in the Army. This one I picked up with the batch of books I bought before the most recent purchase when I couldn't find the next one written chronologically. Since this book is a prequel book, I figured I could read it out of order without ruining the story line.

Deadly Class vol 11 by Rick Remender

It's the early 2000s. A reunion of sorts as Marcus seeks out Saya, pulling her from the depths of addiction and back to the fearsome warrior she once was. More reunions follow as more of the survivors are brought back together, though, of course, happiness doesn't last forever.

It feels as if time is winding down for what could be the last class of King's Dominion as it is now the early 2000s compared to the 1980s where the story first started. The story is filled with the brutal violence the series is know for, but also includes a good bit of reflection by Marcus on his past, from where he came from to where he finds himself now, one of the world's deadliest assassins. Besides of course the action the series has been known for, I really liked the reminiscing done by Marcus in this volume. I don't know, maybe I too am getting old.

Dungeons and Dragons Starter Set Rulebook and Lost Mine of Phandelver

 The "Rulebook" details the most basic things you need to know when starting to play: the basics of your character (which the box provides 5 pre-made characters or you can easily make your own through the D&D Beyond app, or figuring it out with the "Player's Handbook" which you'd have to buy separately), combat, spellcasting, and movement/ travel - all the important aspects of dungeon crawling. It's the "Player's Handbook" in its most basic form, which I know because I also bought the Handbook ... and couldn't stop smiling as I held it in my hands (as I've wanted it since I first saw it at Kawaii Kon).

More importantly, "Lost Mine of Phandelver" is a contained 4-part adventure meant to get everyone involved, both Players and Dungeon Master (DM), comfortable with playing D&D. Obviously, the Players become used to playing as their chosen characters and testing what they can do within the game. It also teaches the DM about roleplaying (providing several different NPCs to act out), running random encounters on long travels, tracking movements (who stand where), tracking characters (who attacks who and when), and learning what every fucking character can do (when can who attack who with what and how does it all work). The story itself focuses on a group of adventurers hired to guard a traveling cart as they are drawn into more than they bargained for when the associate who hires them is mysteriously kidnapped. Fighting against goblins and bandits and searching for information, they'll learn the whereabouts of a mysterious magical mine long thought buried.

I swear I had other books to read before I got myself pulled down this hole. So, I'd bought a Dungeons and Dragons Starter Box because I was interested, one other friend expressed interest who also said they might know another person who might be interested, and I knew I could talk at least one or two other people into playing. Plus, I thought it might help with my writing because it seems to be popular with writers, and I had plans to start a sort-of High Fantasy, swords-and-sorcery story... it's still there, I'm working on it. So, anyways, I got the Starter Box, got some friends involved, originally thought about doing some dumb shit as a rogue, then I volunteered to be the DM because the Rulebook literally says, "Since you're reading this, you're a good candidate to be the DM." I know what you're thinking though, "How hard could that be? 1 vs everyone else but you have access to all sorts of monsters." Well, the book also says (sort of), "Hey, don't be an asshole. This isn't just a game but a shared story, and if you just set out to murder your friends, no one is going to have a good time and they'll all hate you." So anyways, both books are a combined 96 pages or so and yet I spent months memorizing as much of them as I could: taking notes, predicting possible dungeon routes, scripting NPC encounters where I could and how to play out the other encounters, learning to calculate stats and rolls, messing with the dungeon maps, and everything else to make it look like I know what I'm doing. And that's why my reading stopped (not why the writing has stopped, I just got lazy and started watching a bunch of shows). 

Also, if you're curious, at the time I'm writing this the five of us are currently just about through the first half of the adventure. Also, if you were thinking I was going to turn our playthroughs into a write-up, you're out of your mind - I barely remember what I did yesterday and you think I'm going to remember EVERYTHING that happened in several three- to four-hour session to script. That's definitely not happening.

Zombie War (part 2/2)

 

As the green flame continued to burn along the ground, a voice boomed across the field. "Show yourself. Such an interesting specimen you are, able to still think, rationalize, even drive a small, if pathetic, force against me despite being a supposed mindless drone. Give yourself to me, and oh the discoveries I shall make as I pick apart that corpse of yours," he said with a smugness. I lay motionless in the dirt, watching him high above scanning the field looking for me. I just needed one moment, one moment of weakness and I could take everything of his.

Tasha provided it for me, firing her shotgun pointlessly at the figure almost thirty feet above her head, shouting like a lunatic. "Go fuck yourself you birthday party reject!"

His voice still boomed across the field as he laughed. A green hand the size of a small car appeared in the air. The wizard's undead stood motionless as he focused on his conjured hand, guiding it toward the ranting zombie.

My turn, I thought as the CRACK! of a .308 Winchester cartridge silenced his laughter. Or that could've been the bullet putting a hole in the wizard's chest. A very large hole, I thought, tilting my head curiously, looking at a hole I might've been able to throw a football through. More curious was the wizard did everything besides what I expected - which was to die. No blood sprayed from the wound, so screams of agony or rage filled the air. Continuing to radiate his green magical energy thirty feet in the air, he let out a groan and simply said, "Do you understand how hard this will be to patch with living flesh so hard to come by?"

Green lines wove themselves into the hole punched with my bullet, crisscrossing like a spider's web. Tasha's screams brought me back from watching the wizard magically patch himself, the mage hand now closing on her, fingers tightening. I emptied the rest of the magazine, each bullet punching a hole in the wizard's body like a sledgehammer in drywall. The wizard was right, Breather's were getting scarce and it would be too hard to create another Pale Mind, especially one as smart and, more importantly, loyal, as Tasha. Those holes though were a lot bigger than they should be, I thought. The wizard put more of his focus on patching his crumbling body, his green glow dimming slightly as he lowered himself back onto the balcony.

That's when the clues fell into place, just as a group of strong, green hands grabbed onto me, much stronger than a set of bones should be without muscle or tendons. They grabbed and pulled, spreading my arms wide and my face flopped hard into the dirt. Barren fields that should instead be used as farmland, no living game animals in the woods to hunt, a body held together through magic - it wasn't just a wizard, he was a lich, the soul of a wizard possessing his own corpse!

From the mouth of the skeleton keeping me pinned to the ground came the words, "Found you at last, Thinking One. A curious specimen indeed. But I'll discover how you work soon enough." Bare hands tore into  my body and though I couldn't feel pain, I felt a twinge of fear beginning to grow inside me. How much were they going to rip out of me to find what even I didn't understand? Could I recover from all of this, or should I be as worried as the lich was about the lack or even possible extinction of the Breathers?

I reached out to the horde, drawing them back to me to help wrench the wizard's enhanced undead off of me. I reached out to Tasha, letting her know everything I found out in case the lich captured me. I spread my consciousness as thin as I could, reaching into as many virus-infected zombies as I could find to turn them on the lich's undead. I knew I was still pinned to the ground, but I was also everywhere across the field - struggling against skeleton hands, smashing through ranks with a Hunter's strength, crawling with a half-burnt body to rescue myself.

And I was also inside the mansion. I stood, statue-still with weapons in hand as if simply awaiting orders. I was lying upon a table, limbs missing or swapped with another's. I was seventeen different bodies and more surrounded by almost twice that number of undead I couldn't "reach." That fool, I thought, attempting to reach as many virus-infected as I could, he really didn't understand what the Horde truly was - the virus made us all one. I awoke twenty-three, bringing them into my Horde, and marched them through the manor, searching for a staircase to the second floor where the lich still watched my body being torn apart section by section.

My body! I released my hold on a few of my new Shamblers to find that the lich's enhanced ones had nearly ripped me to pieces, currently my head just barely attached to my neck. I wouldn't be able to reach the lich before they fully broke me apart. The horde is one, and I am the horde. I searched the mansion again, a gambit I wasn't sure would work, and that's when I found her, the perfect one.

I felt my head severed from my body and raised in the air for the lich to see. Then I was lying upon a four poster bed, arms crossed over my chest. Though definitely magically-preserved, I could still feel the virus in the body, dormant until I reached it and brought it back into the horde. Unsure of my location, I focused drawing the rest of the horde to me.

"Very good!" boomed a voice not twenty feet from me, "Bring me all of the Thinking zombie. Every little scrap could hold a clue." Then came the sound of footsteps nearing the bed. "My love, this one may finally bring us the information we seek to cure you," the lich said, cold fingers stroked my clammy face. His finger paused. "Though perhaps there's another out there still. I can feel it pushing my cretins, moving them against me." He chuckled, removing his hand from my face.

I felt vibrations in the air as the lich's hands waved about, his voice muttering a language that grated on my ears. The first of my new horde stumbled into the room, mouths agape and arms flailing. Then the connection again just disappeared, the stench of burning meat filled my nose. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, that foolish child. My minions will search for the other, bring it back as a spare," he said. I felt his breath on my neck, then his lips pecked my cheek.

Instantly, I was upon him. Reaching out as fast as I could, grabbing with my basic zombie strength. My mouth opened and I pulled him close as hard as I could. I felt a jolt of shock in his neck, then resistance as he realized what was happening. It was too late though as I struggled forward, lifting my head off the pillow. Teeth closed around chalky flesh and ripped it away. Rather than chew, I spit the flesh away before going in for another bite. It took all my strength but we couldn't waste time satisfying the zombie's naturally bottomless hunger. By then, the lich's shock passed and he shoved me back while stumbling to the balcony, his hand pressed to his cheek.

"How?" he sputtered, eyes wide and hand pressed to his rended flesh, a natural Breather reaction though futile as the lich's body had no blood to bleed.

I fell back to the pillow, smiling as I imprinted the look of fear filling the lich's face into my mind, though I'm sure if he looked closely he would've seen the same fear reflected back to him. Could the virus spread through a body without blood to carry it? "We are the Horde. The virus makes us one, and you brought us here into your home. Right here, into the place you thought safe," I taunted, laughing, hoping to buy time to formulate a back-up plan while knowing that there wasn't one. I'd jumped into the only viable body that could support a consciousness, any other nearby would just make me slightly smarter than the average Shambler. "As for this body," I said, finally pushing past the stiffness and getting the body upright, "I first want to say that I didn't pick it because I knew it special to you. That's a cruelty I've left behind in my death. Nor did I choose it simply because you've kept it so well preserved, though that is part of it. No, I took it as it was the only virus-infected that you hadn't wrapped your magic around, and judging by the smell of burnt flesh I'd say I chose wisely." Almost losing my balance, I lifted my new corpse from the bed and onto unsteady feet. I then made my way to the lich, a wide grin spread on my face.

The lich raised his hands and I felt a charge in the air. "You foolish, foolish child," he sputtered with fury in his eyes, "If what you're telling me is true - that my beloved Isabel is gone- then what would be the point of keeping you alive? Getting her back was the only hope I had, and the only hope you had of leaving this room intact. I guess neither of us will be getting what we want."

He began to chant, a couple words that felt like a cheese grater on my ears. Then, he just stopped, puzzlement spreading on his face. In response, I laughed. Finally, his hands dropped while bewilderment gave way to a simple dullness. "Well, that's an interesting development," I said closing the distance between us. "I wasn't sure if the virus could spread inside a corpse with no moving blood." I walked a circle around the lich, looking over him from top to bottom. I stopped in front of his glazed face, a finger caressing his cheek. "But I guess nature finds a way, or something like that. The magic. The very thing you've used to keep this preserved corpse on its feet is what spread the virus. It really is ... well, magical."

Out side, the sounds of fighting died away and several minutes later I felt Tasha enter the room. "Franks, are you in here - shit!" she said, raising her shotgun on the motionless lich.

"Stop," I said sitting up on the bed in my new host. Tasha pointed the gun at me before switching it back onto the statue-still lich standing in the corner of the room. Motioning for Tasha to lower the gun, I said, "I'd rather you not break our new prize before we've had the chance to really play with it."

"Franks," she said with the gun again trained on me. "New body?"

I shrugged. "Obviously, Managed to find a suitable replacement cared for by our new magician," I said gesturing to the lich who slowly turned to the left, raised his arms at the elbows, spread his fingers, and then lifted itself onto its toes while bending at the knees. Then he turned right and repeated the dance.

Tasha's shoulders sagged, relaxed as she let out a breath of relief. "Fucking Thriller. Really Franks, you are so lame." She leaned the gun against the wall and lay down next to me. "We lost a lot but at least I'm going to sleep in an actual bed tonight."

"Don't get too comfortable yet. We'll still need to search the grounds for this thing's soul container or else it could manifest a new body once this one dies. And he's not going to be very happy with us when that happens." I started to get up and then paused. "But you're right. Perhaps better to enjoy our victory now, leave the work for later."

Based on a Reddit Writing Prompt about the Undead taking over the world, I decided to write a story blending two of my previous zombie stories: One involving Thinking Zombies and the other a post-apocalypse zombie virus. Don't want to read my old work? Don't worry, neither do I. The short version of both are 1) If a zombie eats enough brains it becomes smart, and 2) A post-apocalypse involving multiple zombie outbreaks. I'd been planning to extend my "Land of the Undead" story into another serial for this blog but (if you know my relationship with research) that hasn't quite worked out as planned. So, when I saw this prompt (months ago) I decided to write a short thing set in that world, you know, to hone in on more of what I had planned. If you're reading this (as I always say, "Why waste your time?") and it felt long, my bad. Originally I'd planned for the final boss to be a wizard and that Franks would make some comment about tools before shooting the wizard in the head, the end. Then I thought about it more, never a good idea as my thoughts once again got out of hand and decided to make the wizard actually a lich and then Franks needed a way to infect him (because I couldn't think of anything else). I know, what the fuck.

Also, wow, it's been a long time since I've posted anything. Umm, there's a reason for that and it isn't just because I'm lazy. I mean, it isn't a good reason either but still I think it's a valid reason. This also led to a decline in my reading from July to September. As always, I've got a bunch of stuff planned, even started, just need to find the time and motivation to keep writing.

Zombie War (part 1/2)

 I crouched along with my five lieutenants creating a circle in the mud. Around us swayed the rest of my undead horde: some gnashing their teeth, others grasping at the empty air, none of them quite still. Embarrassment and rage took hold of me for a moment and I splattered the muck with a fist before regaining composure, smoothing it out once more. "That fucking wizard reduced us to nearly half our numbers. Such an insult cannot go unpunished," I said motioning to our undead surrounding us as I drew a crude map with my other hand, my ashen flesh contrasting sharply with the dark-brown twig I'd plucked from the ground. Tools, I thought, looking thoughtfully at the stick, such a shame that so much of it was lost now that the living were gone. Or at least now that they'd become just another endangered species of this planet.

"Franks," said Hate/Love hesitantly, trying to find the words. Hate/Love, the newest of our Pale Mind collective having recently fed on enough fresh brain matter to awaken a consciousness. Not enough to remember his past but enough to read the words on his knuckles. "Magic isn't real,, right?"

I glared at him, "I don't know Hate/Love, the fire shooting from his fucking hands seemed pretty real. Maybe we can ask our roasted Shamblers if they think it's real? Besides, I'll bet a couple years ago, you wouldn't have said zombies, especially ones that could talk, were real, yet here we are." I pulled a sharpened bone from my belt and stabbed it into my chest for emphasis. No fear of injury, no pain, just in and back out with only a couple bits of necrotic flesh falling out of the wound and stuck to the bone.

"Sir, you really shouldn't be doing that, especially with food scarce as is," said Tasha though with more annoyance than actual concern.

Waving the bone, I said, "One hole in my chest means nothing if we can't get passed that damn wizard."

"We can't stand against the wizard's magic, Franks," said Richard, standing up and gesturing to the group. "Let's just cut our losses and move along. I'm sure there's other -"

I didn't let him finish. Couldn't lest I find myself wrestling control of the horde from another Pale Mind, especially one that I had brought up and nourished. With Richard's back turned, I stuck the sharpened bone through the temple of his skull into his brain. "The Bots and their AI overlord control the desert behind us and The Rage roaming this region tear apart anything this moves, including other undead. Our only option is to kill the wizard and take his manor. That's our path to safety," I said, dropping Richard's body to the ground. I eyed each of my remaining lieutenants in turn, taking note of Vic and Baby's hungry eyes. "Rich goes to the Shamblers," I growled, "His brains are no good for feasting but we should not let the rest of his stupidity go to waste."

"Franks," said Vic, his eyes now slightly downcast while eyeing the bone still dripping brain matter, "Richard has, um, had a point. Taking on the wizard isn't going to be easy. I, we just want to know that you have a plan."

I raised the sharpened bone before flipping it over and offering the blunt end to Vic, who hesitantly grasped it from me. "Tools," I replied. "Tools are what separates us from the other animals and it will be what grants us our dominance over them, as rabid and ferocious as they may be." Then I turned my back to the group, letting my mind join with the rest of my mindless horde.

With Richard dead, well actually dead, I felt a number of our Shamblers start to slowly peel away, mostly those furthest from the presence of myself and my remaining Pale Minds as we now were one less Mind to hold their numbers. I closed my eyes, focusing on the connection I held with every one of the undead in my horde, from the cognitive Pale Minds, the monstrous Hunters, and the mindless mob of Shamblers. Their connection to the horde faded until eventually they simply disappeared. In the next couple of minutes, I felt twenty-six of our number vanish from my control.

I opened my eyes. "A loss, but not as many as I expected," I said to no one in particular. "Perhaps I really should have let Richard have more the brains." With the remaining ninety-seven undead under my control, I marched us through the woods back to the wizard's manor maintaining cover in the trees while avoiding the open road. Though the Breathers were nearly extinct, it was still best wander as just another horde to avoid suspicions amongst the other forms of undead that populated the globe. Along the way, I gave a slight psychic "push" to any Shambler we happened upon, pulling them along like an avalanche picking up fresh snow as it races down a mountain. With only five Pale Minds, including myself, in my horde, I'd reached the limit on the number of undead I could directly control, but bringing along potential reinforcements couldn't hurt.

We made it to the edge of the woods without incident. Without encountering any living thing, actually: no Breathers, no wild game, not even a bird or rodent. I couldn't imagine the wizard having enough canned foods to survive this long. Perhaps the wizard survived with farm animals and crops hidden on the other side of the manor out of view? I held my horde at the tree line and allowed the wild zombies I'd pulled along to enter the barren field between us and the manor first. After crossing thirty-yards of packed dirt, the wizard made himself known as several dozen ragged ghouls rose from the ground. Standing apart from my horde and the more populous virus-created zombies, the wizard's ghouls stood in various forms (not just undead humans but animals such as wolves and deer) as well as in various states of decay from those that looked dead only a few days ago to bodies that were more bone than flesh. Standing out amongst the ghouls however were a couple of hybrid bodies, fusions of parts not just of different human bodies but mixtures of different species - human bodies with wolf heads, horse bodies with human torsos, and other more nightmarish mixtures. Most terrifying to me though was that many of his ghouls held some sort of weapon in hand (metal pipes, cleavers, axes, etc), curiously even those without a muscle structure to do so. The wizard's undead stood-statue still, letting the wandering undead bump into them as they slowly trudged in the direction of the manor.

"He's not lashing out at them like he did when we last entered his territory," said Tasha, watching along with me.

I nodded in agreement. "Perhaps he's saving his strength, testing these if they are -" I paused, thinking back to our first encounter: wandering to the manor grounds, probing these odd undead as I would others. "Dammit, he's looking for me. I tried to probe a couple of the skeletons, curious how they still moved. That must've been what triggered him to attack us the last time, me trying to get into the head of his ghouls to add them to our horde."

Tasha stared at me, lifeless eyes still managing to parrot a glare before taking a group of Shamblers to blend with the roaming zombies. The rest of my horde waited in the trees, watching. Once Tasha wound a twisting trail halfway across the barren field to the manor, I motioned for my last three Pale Minds to take another portion of our Shamblers into the field. If the wizard suspected anything, no alarm was raised or at least not one that I could sense.

My three Pale Minds now halfway between the trees and the manor and Tasha a blur and outside the psychic bond of the horde, I urged the remainder of the Shamblers and all of our Hunters across the hard-packed dirt while I crawled amongst them. It was slow going, dragging myself and the roughly eight-pound pack through a sea of zombified legs and feet. After ten minutes it dawned on me that as a human, I wouldn't have had a clue where I was going amongst the zombified body parts. Thanks to the horde, though, I could "see" through their eyes, at least the ones that had eyes. The Shamblers were nearly blind though I could make out the shape of other zombies and the mansion through their cataract-ridden eyes. My Hunters though, or at least two of them, had nearly perfect vision thanks to the diet of fresh eyes in addition to the muscle and sinews I directed them to consume. Thanks to whatever strain of the zombie virus that infected my horde, you are what you eat.

Once I got halfway across the field, I gave the order. "Attack." On their own, undead don't attack other undead as there's no food in doing so. Under the control of Pale Minds like myself, we could guide Shamblers, Hunters, and others under our control to attack other forms of undead. And that's what they did. The Shamblers began grabbing at the ghouls, dragging them to the ground and ripping into them as if they were their usual living prey. My five Hunters were much more ruthless and effective, using their huge bodies and brute strength to smash through anything in their path as they barrelled their way to the mansion.

The wizard's ghouls were quick to respond - axes chopping, pipes swinging, fangs biting. Part of me still wondered how those made of just bone did that, though the simple answer was probably "magic." It was too bad that I would never get the answer as I planned to kill the only one with it. Though the ghouls had tools, we had numbers. In the time it took for the wizard's undead to aim a "killing blow" on one of my undead's brain, the horde was able to bring them down, like a crashing wave, and began tearing them apart.

Soon they changed tactics on us, seeking instead to disable and maim rather than outright kill. More of the horde had legs chopped or arms broken by the ghouls' tools, rendering their numbers ineffective, almost worthless. After all, what good are numbers if they're all crawling through the muck or grasping uselessly. Ready to counterstrike, my four lieutenants unslung shotguns - Benelli M1014 12 gauge semi-automatic models scavenged when we overran a Breather fort several days earlier - and began putting holes in the enemy. It was too bad I couldn't equip all of the horde with firearms but it was only the Pale Minds, those who ate enough brain matter to return their consciousness, that had the fine motor functions to load a shell into a tube and pull a trigger. Unlike ourselves, the virus-created, the wizard's magic kept his undead on their feet even with their brains blown-out. Instead, I had my Pale Minds focus their shots on the mid-section, severing spines from legs to drop the enemy undead to the ground for our horde to finish off.

As chaos reigned in the battlefield, a green light filled the middle room on the second floor of the manor - the wizard finally giving us his full attention. As the light grew brighter, other undead ran from the mansion, each one also emitting the same eerie ermine glow. Despite being the size of a normal human zombie, they appeared to move as fast and strike as hard as my Hunters which stood twice their size and weighed nearly three times that. Worst of all, these magically-enhanced undead outnumbered my Hunters four-to-one and more continued to rise. Then, the main event arrived as the wizard himself stepped out of the room, off the balcony, and floated in the air. His hands held in front of him, a green flame lanced down into the battlefield, burning his and my own zombies alike. I felt the connection with at least half the remaining horde simply vanish, unfortunately along with the connection to two of my Hunters and two of my Pale Minds. They'd be the hardest to replace as the world was running short on fresh, Breather brains to feast upon. I set my gaze upon the wizard, floating in the air, and wondering just how much stronger I might become if I ate his brain.