Second Puberty

So, despite my best efforts* it appears that God will not be honoring our deal to take me before I get old. *disclaimer: obviously by "best efforts" I mean being as negligent with my health while doing as little of anything as possible. Though, come to think of it, I did make that deal back when I thought aging just went from being young to being old, like plummeting from cliff

How I used to think aging worked

Apparently it is more like rolling down a hill

Aim for the hole, I guess

And now that I've (sort of) accepted that I'm getting older, I'm beginning to notice "the changes." You know what changes I'm talking about, or at least I'm assuming you do. Second Puberty. You know, it's kinda like the first one but in reverse. First Puberty added hair in places I didn't know I needed it. Second Puberty is taking it away from the places I want it (i.e. on my head). First Puberty gave me inches (in height, get your mind out of the gutter) and some mass to fill it out. Second Puberty, well ... I haven't actually started to shrink yet, but I think I'm starting to erode

One of the first things I noticed about First Puberty (about 15 years ago... holy shit I could've gone through puberty twice already which I guess is what I'm dealing with here) was the smell. So I started using deodorant and that would cover up the smell. Nowadays, I tend to reek so I've upgraded to something called "clinical strength". Honestly, any higher and I might as well just start smoking again to cover up the smell.

I also remember growing a couple inches taller and putting on a couple pounds. High school was probably the peak of my physical ability, which, if you remember what kind of athlete I was in high school, really isn't saying much. But now, at the age of 27, I'm starting to feel the body going through more of a physical breakdown. I don't know if I'm able to walk three miles without collapsing much less run three miles like I used to on the cross-country team. Sometimes I just get winded jogging with Candy. Speaking of running with the dog, I've recently had to start stretching before taking her out. Found that out the hard way after pulling my... that thing in the back of your leg (back in the day, I didn't need to worry about muscles and stuff). In my teens, I rarely had to stretch for anything. If I could walk, then I could sprint. If the body could move, then I was good to go. And even if it couldn't, well you just play through it because it'll be fixed when you wake up tomorrow. Now, if I can walk, it means that I can walk... and that's it. You're gonna have to ease that into a jog and then move into a sprint. And if something breaks down along the way, well, then I'm done.

I think that's a good representation

Speaking of health, as I probably mentioned before, I now have a doctor! And I actually use him! Now, I see that guy for Every Little Thing. Because, fuck it, if I'm paying for insurance I might as well use it. The last time I was there he prescribed bed rest, plenty of fluids, and to "quit wasting my time." In my teens, I only needed the doctor once a year to cup my balls and sign a paper saying I was healthy enough to play sports (baseball) once a year. Anything else was just an inconvenience on my part. Unless there was blood pouring from someplace it shouldn't, then maybe. Yeah, I got sick but that just meant drinking water, sleeping longer, and getting taunted by my siblings as they ate the good food while I got stuck with soda crackers. Not that I didn't go because I thought I would be dead tomorrow. I just didn't have the experience to know that my health could get worse. Now that I know it can, and will, get worse, well I guess I'm just trying to be more preventative about it. And unfortunately, that's gotten me worried about every, little thing. Does thinking you're a hypochondriac make you a hypochondriac? After all, crazy people usually don't think they're crazy, right?

So, here's a funny story: so back in my younger days, Food was simple. You put it in your mouth, you chew, and you swallow. Repeat as needed until your stomach (or your wallet) says stop. Then you shit it out. Easy. About a year ago, my body stopped being able to handle food like it used to. So I actually went to the doctor and it turns out it was something called "Heartburn." So I laughed in his face, "That thing from those stupid commercials on TV!" Surely I was thinking some foreign disease or maybe I'd been mysteriously poisoned. Nope, turns out it's heartburn. So now I've got these pills I'm supposed to take once a day while I watch what I eat and how much I eat and blah, blah, blah all before I get to the actual eating part of eating.

But anyways, maybe there's a way to put off this "aging" thing, besides, you know, dying. And maybe I'll even start doing those things. Apparently being younger than all your co-workers doesn't automatically make you healthier than them. But yeah, that's the start of 27 years old. That 10 year high school reunion would be next year already (do people do 10 year reunions for high school?). 10 years from Keio is just around the corner as well. And I guess that's about it. I don't know. I haven't really accomplished much this past year (hell, this is my first post of the year so obviously I haven't been writing like I said I would). A handful of friends came to visit, some I hadn't seen for 6 years or so. A couple friends moved away. I've still been reading a lot (up to 14 books so far). And yeah, I guess that's it.