Australia Day 3: Souvenirs

I woke up with a slight hangover (I never said the technique was guaranteed to work). I popped some Tylenol and that stopped the pounding in my head but unfortunately did not stop the pounding of children's feet running in the hallway. As far as I can recall, this substituted as this morning's alarm clock (I actually can't remember too much about the morning).

and yet there was so much more than vegetables

Anyways, the four of us jumped on the bus and headed off for some souvenir shopping in Chinatown. I did mention in my last post that Eileena was joining us, right? One second while I check.... okay, and I did. Let's carry on then. It turns out Market City was a huge swap meet, except indoors. And with multiple levels. And no... I didn't get any pictures of the inside. Mostly because it was super crowded and I was far too busy looking at all the things for sale. We spent most of our time on the first floor, but there were so many stalls, I'm trying to think where to begin. First off, there were your typical, everyday vendors. Mostly T-shirts, trinkets (bottle openers, lighters, magnets, key chains, etc), and jewelry. So many jewelry vendors (luckily I'm able to space out at will or I might've been bored out of my mind everytime we stopped at one). Oh, and a couple stalls offering massages. We managed to wander around for hours just looking at all the different stuff on sale. And I think it was at one of the stuffed animal vendors that I once again got to participate in the "guess my ethnicity" game. Here's the play-by-play. She started by launching right into Chinese and when she noticed my look of confusion, she guessed the old standby of Filipino (understandable since I get that a lot). Her second guess, Indonesian (making that the first time I've ever gotten Indonesian). Finally, she just gave up and asked. When I mentioned I was half-Chinese, she offered me the stuffed kangaroo, "$15. But for you, $12" which I took. I needed a souvenir for my sister after all. At least I think she still likes stuffed animals. Whatever, she'll always just be a little kid to me.

But this is Australia. Where's the Australia stuff? you ask. Well, there were also the Australian trinket vendors. Boomerangs, didgeridoos, paintings, pelts, and kangaroo scrotums. Yes, kangaroo scrotums. Kangaroo scrotum keychains, lighter holders, and even bottle openers

if they weren't almost $20 each, I would've bought one for everyone

Upstairs was a food court area as well as more of the upscale vendors in actual shops. No, none of you got anything from these stores. I went classic cheap on all of your souvenirs.

As you probably noticed, we hadn't eaten anything all day. We went to a Malaysian restaurant across the street and scarfed down dishes. I'm still not sure how to describe Malaysian food, mostly because taste is my worst sense. A lot of the dishes had a spice to them and I'm sure they could have been hotter, which I'm glad they weren't (sadly, I have a super low spice tolerance). Well, here's pictures Taryn took and hopefully your eyes can describe it to your stomach. Also, if you're wondering why I'm always using pictures someone else (usually Taryn) took, it's because I'm terrible at remembering to take pictures... as well as remembering that I even own a camera. Besides, this is the Era of Social Media. Why would any party need more than one camera when we're all going to share the same pictures anyways? But we're going off topic again. Here's your food

After lunch, and a very much one-sided debate, we were now off to the absinthe bar. According to Aurora's plan, we were supposed to have headed there after the beach walk on our first day, but we were so exhausted we abandoned it. Since we had a couple hours to kill before pizza with my former Plume-ers, Aurora suggested now was the time to go.

Sorry, what I'm remembering now was a really long walk. From the Malaysian restaurant, we followed Google maps as it lead us across a park, under a bridge, and through a shady-looking neighborhood. I'm gonna rank it as the 3rd longest walk for this trip (#1 being the Bondi trek and #2 still to come). The neighborhood had that old, brick-and-mortar, I-think-someone-is-watchng-me-from-the-window feel. The bar itself looked like any old specialty shop (I'm thinking seamstress), you know, if you removed everything related to absinthe. However, AbsintheSalon was an absinthe bar, from the glassware in the window to the green light above the door, and you could tell just from the outside that this was going to be an experience.

We needed to be buzzed in. Yeah, buzzed in. I can't remember the last time I needed to buzz in to get anywhere. The hostess brought us inside through the front room and into the back. There were several tables, some of them with people already sitting at them but all of them with the same glass water-contraption in the center.

You know, this thing

We each chose a different brand of absinthe from the selection as the host recommended. And this is where I "possibly" made another error in judgment (aka "Alan being a dumbass") by choosing another absinthe on the menu rather than what the host recommended. My choice, it turns out, had the strongest, and somewhat harshest taste of the four. This was only "possibly" a mistake since I'm not sure if I would've liked his recommendation either. I'm not sure, but I think the best one was either Taryn or Eileena's choice. Whichever it was, the important thing was that I managed, after just one cup, to walk away with a decent buzz, which is really all that matters.

thanks AbsintheSalon for the picture

Oh, and as much as I would like to leave out me being yelled at again while on vacation, I shouldn't (if I didn't tell you, it happened previously on the Seattle trip a couple years ago, but that's a story for another time). Especially when it was slightly deserved. I'm not sure how it came up, but I remember bringing up the green fairy you're supposed to see whey you drink absinthe (after all, everything I know about absinthe comes from Eurotrip). Picking up on this, our host teleported next to us (seriously, where did he come from?) and immediately began schooling me on everything Absinthe and how it differs from "that filth, absinth" (his words, not mine). He carried on this rant for about five minutes and as much as I would like to share his knowledge, as I said before, we were going to have dinner with other former Plume-ers, so let's carry on.

Sometimes, I still can't believe it's been 4 years (I have no idea who took this picture)

 So, once again, we hopped on the bus back to The Rocks where our hostel was located. Because, luckily, the place we were going was right next door. But that wasn't the only surprise - we got a new roommate. As I said, the Indian guy left that morning... oh, I forgot to mention that. Well, the Indian guy left that morning and we happened upon our new roommate from Colorado. He was in Australia backpacking as well as to study... um, I think it was geology... rocks, maybe?

Anyways, Taryn invited him to join us to pizza... topped with authentic Australian animals! Did you really think it was going to be just regular pizza? The strange part was that a couple of the Australians (I don't remember who) said they've never eaten kangaroo or crocodile before. Though I guess that's not so strange considering there are things in Hawaii I haven't eaten though I've lived here all my life. Meh, I guess that's just one of those things

And back to the story (sorry, almost went off track there again). We met up with all my former Plume-ers: Vanessa, Jane, Ben, and Mel as well as Glen, Leon and Ai (it was a huge table). Oh, and the pizza? It was good. Honestly, the kangaroo pizza kinda tasted like a steak pizza would (though that might be just how it was cooked) but the crocodile... it was bad. The meat tasted... I'm trying to think of the word.... different? strange? Something like that. I can see now why they are so hard to kill. I mean, I wouldn't be that motivated to challenge a crocodile especially if I knew it would taste like that. Pizza pics once again courtesy of Taryn's camera

Kangaroo pizza

Crocodile pizza

Colorado John (that's his name) left after a slice or two citing jet lag and Mel, Leon, Ben, and Ai (everyone who rode with Mel) left next, but not before Ben got the people sitting next to us to take a group picture for us

The rest of us grabbed dessert at a famous chocolate shop nearby and hung out on the Opera House steps. It was nice hanging out and catching up with people I hadn't seen for 4 years (though technically we saw Ben 2 years ago and Vanessa just last year). Hopefully it won't be another 4 years before we all meet again, though it probably will be. Before we split, we exchanged some gifts and souvenirs (some of which I still have yet to give out to the other Plume-ers back in Hawaii). Also, we took this picture (with Taryn's camera)

 

This seems like a good way to end this post

Australia Day 2: Vineyards and Ivy

Now I remember why we slept so early yesterday. We needed to wake up early and catch a quick cab ride to the pick-up spot. Pick-up to where you ask? Well, thanks to her great planning skills, Aurora knew that what we needed on this trip was one epic adventure... and today was that day. The three of us were going WINE TASTING! Luckily, thanks to the taxi ride, we got to the spot early so we had time to grab breakfast

The other breakfast of champions

By the way (not that it matters), this morning was also the coldest I've ever been so far on this trip. I even managed to entertain myself for a good five minutes or so just watching my own breath in the cold.

The van was full so I walked around to the right side to climb into the passenger's seat. Did you spot what I did wrong? If so, you probably live in a country that drives on the left-hand side of the road (aka the wrong side). I opened the door to find myself staring at a steering wheel, which I blame completely on still being half asleep. Sam, our tour guide and driver, shared that another American actually climbed into the seat and sat there before realizing he was on the wrong side... and also that it's only Americans who make this mistake. Also, if you're wondering how I remembered the tour guides name, it's because I wrote it down as my ability to remember names is still terrible.

But that's enough of me doing stupid things (we'll have more time for that later). The first stop on the tour was a wildlife petting zoo. We got to see all the national creatures of Australia:

Kangaroos, family picture style

Koalas (as well as one of the few pictures of myself)

Emus

and this fucking thing (I'm starting to see why people hate birds so much)

I promise, I didn't touch him. He just started screaming at me

Then it was off to the chocolate factory where I got that spiced chocolate. You know the one. "oh, this is good. it's sweet and (pause) oh, what the hell is that! it's spicy!" Yeah, that chocolate (I got a good laugh when handing it out). Then we got to the first vineyard.

Honestly, most of the vineyards looked pretty much the same with the fields and fields of grapes so just imagine that image everytime I say the word vineyard (mostly because I don't feel the need to post pictures of each vineyard we went to... it's a lot of work). Also, as I tell you about the wine tasting, keep in mind that in my lifetime, I've probably drank enough wine to pour into a wine glass with what I know about it used to top it off. Luckily, my experience in drinking picked up the slack for my lack of knowledge.

I would like to say that I learned fairly quickly the art of wine drinking, though it took me a glass or two to remember to drink it in three sips for the best taste and all day to learn how to swirl it in the glass (and I still have no idea what exactly I'm supposed to be smelling when I sniff the wine). We got to sample about six or seven wines at the first vineyard. Also, just to debunk the myth, you do not need to spit out the wine once you drink it (as a lot of you have asked me). A couple whites (which I liked the best), a couple reds, and a sparkling wine (I think that's the right word... it was carbonated which gave it an interesting fizzy, soda taste). Then we got back in the van and headed off to the second vineyard.

The second vineyard is where I made my second mistake of the day  - not pre-ordering my lunch. See, the second place had a variety of places we could grab lunch at and me, being a dumbass, decided that I would rather look around instead of just ordering from the one place everyone else was (I still ended up with a sandwich from that shop anyway). This sadly meant getting my food late and not getting to try any of the wine at this place. Aurora and Taryn managed to get a taste so if you're really that curious, please feel free to ask one of them. And yes, I guess I could've managed to eat really quickly then rush over to the wine tasting and just start gulping one after another but I'd already been scolded for my classlessness (and would continue to be scolded throughout the rest of the trip... I guess one day I'll learn manners and such).

I gotta say, it was a pretty good sandwich. Tour guide Sam gets credit for this picture

Another van ride later we were at the third and final vineyard of the day.... I don't remember a whole lot about this place. I remember being entertained by the guy leading the wine tasting. I think he was giving the typical history of the place and wines as well as mixing in a joke here and there. Other than that, there was more wine to be drunk. And cheese to be eaten. Oh, and crackers.

As a bonus, we were also going to a BEER TASTING! Luckily, there wasn't any learning to be done at this place, just "tasting". And by tasting I mean they actually gave us a glass of beer, at a discounted price, but still a glass of beer. And, once again, I should remember more but the only things I can recall was drinking ginger beer and that Russian IPA beer pouring like motor oil. This was then followed by a long, and sometimes terrifying, ride back to our hostel. Terrifying? Yeah, only because back home you can't go making left turns whenever you want. So yeah, being in the front seat I was freaked out a little every time I saw the van turn into what I thought would be oncoming traffic.

Normally, this would be the end of a great day. I would stop writing, go to bed and pass out while you would finish reading, close your browser, and wait patiently until I finally took the time again to write the next chapter (or else just scroll over to your open porn tab). Well, you're in luck because there's more. So take the time to pop in some eye drops (and pause that video if you do have it already open and buffering), while I stretch my fingers for a bit (plus all this wine talk has made me a little thirsty... too bad I didn't bring any back).


And we're back. As I was saying, the day wasn't over yet. We got back and then immediately, we were off to Ivy. Well, not exactly immediately. You see, Ivy is a classy place. So classy, in fact, that our tour guide actually called up the bar to find out the dress code for us. And by us, I mean me. Because classiness has not yet become a style I'm prepared for. I quite literally threw on a clean pair of jeans and the one dress shirt I brought with me and I mistakenly thought I was ready to go. As somewhat of an adult, I can say that I've been dressing myself for a long time now and I'd like to think I've been doing a half-decent job at it. So imagine my surprise as I walked to the door only to be immediately stopped with a simple, "Umm, no." For the next ten minutes, Aurora and Taryn critiqued me from bottom to top, turning me into their personal Ken doll:

1. Why don't you have a nicer pair of shoes?
2. Roll up your pant legs
3. Tuck in your shirt (okay, that one I should've known, but I was hoping to get away with it)

Pictured: Classy Alan

I think the only thing I got a compliment on was that I actually owned a belt. Oh, and the sports jacket you see in the picture, that belongs to our 4th roommate, an Indian guy who had come to Australia to study. He suggested I take it, believing that I wouldn't get in without it. Then HE brought up the one thing I thought we were all going to ignore or at least forget about - "I'm surprised none of you mentioned his hair yet." That's when I realized he hated me. You see, I HATE combing my hair. I know, I'm 25 and this should be something I've accepted needs to be done in situations like this, and maybe one day I will come to terms with it, but that night was not yet that time.

The most traumatic moment of my life

Aurora did what she could with her limited supplies and even less of my cooperation to make my hair look like that of an adult. If you would like, please feel free to badger Aurora and Taryn's friend Eileena who also joined us that night and for the next couple of days (and who I allegedly met before but, in a drunken haze, can't seem to remember) to post up the video she made of the hair-combing incident. No, but seriously, if you are reading this, please post it. If I thought it was funny to watch what appears to be Aurora picking ticks out of my hair then I'm sure there are others who will to. Besides, there's enough embarrassing stuff of me online that one more won't make a difference.

Finally, we got to Ivy. Right, I promised a description. Well, one section is an open air with a long, rectangular pool in the middle which guests can actually go swimming in (this was not only confirmed by Mel but also when a couple people started jumping in) and pool chairs around the sides. This was where the four of us met up with Ben, Ai, Mel, and Leon (pics from Ai's archive of pictures):

The club section looked a bit more familiar. Well, at the very least it was indoors which made it familiar to me. There was a dance floor and bar on the bottom floor and a set of stairs leading to the lounge and bar upstairs. It was weird not tipping for every drink though it did save me a couple dollars. Unfortunately, it did lead to a looong wait time on some of my drinks (which I blame on the lack of tipping... I'm a great tipper). It was also difficult paying as the more I drank, the less I could remember what bill and/or coin was what. We also met a couple more of Ben and Mel's friends (I don't remember any of their names).

Like this guy... I have no idea who he is (Ben gets photo credit)

I don't exactly remember. I do remember the four of us taking a cab ride back to the hostel (because fuck walking at that point). I remember two guys yelling at each other outside, "Get over here. I'm gonna fuck you up." (Ahh, the soothing sounds of home). And I remember putting trust in my semi-proven hangover prevention method (which just simply involves drinking some water... as well as forcibly puking out whatever might still be in me). And so ends Day 2. You're welcome

Australia Day 1: Opera House and a Death Stroll Along the Coast

And now we can start with the actual trip. After peeling the Breathe-Right strip from my nose it was time for some sight-seeing. The first stop: obviously the place closest to us, the Sydney Opera House. We must've got there early since it really wasn't as crowded as a place of that size should've been. We got to roam the outside of the opera house while taking pictures and searching for that one perfect spot. You know the one. It's on all the postcards. You know, with the steps and the entire Opera House front. Well, we couldn't find it. Or at least I couldn't find it (if either of you two did, please post the picture so I don't just sound like a crazy person believing that such a thing exists). But I did get these pictures, so that's just as good.

 Today would also mark the first time on the trip that an old Chinese woman would randomly start speaking to me in Chinese (it's always the older women, no idea why). I'm not sure why it happens, but it does. I just nodded along and smiled and then she walked away.

Then we went to eat! Luckily, the Opera House has its own Opera Kitchen.

 

(thanks Taryn for all three of those pictures) I'm not sure what all the foods were, but it was good. I did feel tricked at first when I got the salmon roll with chips because I actually got chips (expecting fries) ... until I ate them. Crunchy, kettle-cooked style. So that made everything ok again. But outdoor food leads to seagulls. Fucking seagulls. Once the table next to us emptied, they swarmed the plates like piranha at a special olympics swim meet. (side note: it's really hard to write the horrible, heartless jokes like that one with Apink playing). We even needed to bat away a couple the found their way to our table.

But that's enough of the Opera House because now it was time to meet up with Ben and Ai at the famous Bondi Beach. A day before we left for Australia, I suggested that Ben and Aurora get in touch with each other since they were the ones doing most of the planning (and that concludes all the planning I contributed to the trip). One bus ride later (and coincidentally running into both Ben and Ai on the bus) we were at Bondi Beach. Is it sad to say that though I live in Hawaii, this was probably is the first time I've visited the beach in years? The sand was super soft but there was no way I was going in the water. Though it's an Australian winter, it's still winter. And still cold enough to keep our jackets and shoes on while we walked the beach, even though it meant dumping sand from our shoes whenever we could.

Ai's camera. Photographer: Unknown

Ben's camera. Photographer: Unknown

Thanks again Taryn for the pic... and whoever that guy was that took it

Ben had suggested we go on the half-hour coastal walk (which links two beaches together), which I guess is a pretty popular thing to do since we saw a lot of people along the way. It took me a while to realize many of them were dressed in jogging shorts and tank tops. Work-out clothes. We were just in our regular clothes of jeans, jackets and backpacks. And so we trudged along the trail, all the while spurred on by Ben's encouraging words/outright lies, "We're almost there. Just another 15 minutes" and "The end is just over there." I was reminded of the stereotype that everything in Australia is deadly and this apparently applies to their tourist traps as well. There was even a graveyard near the end (that's not foreboding at all). And so three hours, two beaches, and one long flight of stairs later, we finally finished.

"How 'bout some fish and chips. Bitches."

To apologize for his huge miscalculation of time (because 3 hours isn't even close to the half hour he promised even if you try rounding up), Ben treated us to some chips, where I discovered the greatest thing Australia has to offer (at least in the top 5): Chicken Salt! Yeah, I'm not joking. Imagine the "Chicken in a Biskit" flavoring put into a salt shaker that you can sprinkle onto anything, magically making it taste just like "Chicken in a Biskit." I know I've probably already told everyone back home how great this stuff is and all you guys do is look at me with that puzzled look but I'm not joking. Another thing I'm disappointed in myself for not bringing back home.

Another bus ride later and we found ourselves back in the city at the Pitt Street Mall (at least that's what I remember it being called ... I'm too lazy right now to google it). Literally a huge shopping area bordering a street. A whole street. Honestly, besides that, I don't quite remember anything else from that night. I don't remember what we ate. I think the only thing I remember after that was catching the free bus back to the hostel and passing out. I know that seems like an anti-climactic way to end a post about such a fun-filled day, but seriously, I can't remember. Maybe I didn't write this soon enough and now the memory's gone. I'll try to get the rest written up before my memories are wiped clean.

Australia Day 0: Flight and Arrival

As promised (a week or two late but still as promised), here is the first part of The Australian Chronicles (though, really, there are no words to describe how great the trip was for me). Normally, I would start at the most interesting parts to catch your attention so you don't leave (please don't) but I think this time I need to start from the beginning (seriously, please don't leave).

Hopefully this is enough to catch your attention, though it's a story for another post
Also, thanks AbsintheSalon for the picture

And so let's begin. My brother begrudgingly agreed to drive me to the airport and promised to drop me off by 6am, which he delivered because, if you know my brother, time is of no issue, importance, or concern when you drive like a maniac. Though, neither is the safety of your passengers or everyone else on the road but when you've got a deadline, trust me, you'd rather have him behind the wheel than myself. What I haven't told him yet was that the flight was delayed so really, I didn't need to get there until 7am.

The rest of the wait was pretty forgettable. Aurora and I waited around the airport until we could board. My hopes of having an empty seat next to me were dashed once I saw the guy sitting in the window seat (I always aim for an aisle seat on planes). And then came the most dreaded moment of the trip: the flight. Unless you've traveled with me, you don't understand - I rarely, if at all, sleep on planes. No, I don't know why, but it happens often. I just can't sleep. And this is a 10 hour flight. Allow me to emphasize: TEN HOURS! I would sleep for a bit, wake up thinking I've been asleep for at least 2 hours, look at the clock... and only 30 minutes have passed. Around hour 6 I was getting so restless that I would go to the restroom just to stand there and enjoy the change of scenery (because there's only so long I can stare at the back of a chair). An hour later I was making a trek up and down the aisle in coach class and I gotta say, people look weird when they sleep. But eventually the screens started to display that it was only two hours until we landed and the world started to feel alright again. (Strangest part of the flight: that guy next to me didn't get up once. not to pee. not to walk around. he just sat there. all. flight.)

Finally we landed. As is the case on most of my travels, nothing ever starts on a good note and this time was no different as I lost my passport within ten minutes of landing and passing through customs. I ended up leaving it on one of the currency exchange machines and luckily someone turned it in to the Customs Officers so I did get it back. But, like I said, not a good way to start the trip, especially since we didn't even claim our bags yet.

At least I got my money

Then came the wait for Taryn's plane to come in. Luckily, the airport has free wi-fi and a McDonalds. Side note: is a Quarter Pounder really the same when Australia uses the metric system? And when our traveling trio was complete, we took the train out to Circle Quay (I'm still not sure how to pronounce that. Sort of like "key" if I remember). And then came The Ascent. If the flight killed me inside then the walk to the hostel beat me physically. And what's worse is that it was only that particular walk which I hated. It's not like I dreaded every return back to the hostel where we would have to walk the literal uphill battle, just this one. I think it was because of all the luggage. But later we would find shortcuts, either through the use of side-streets and alleyways or by just cutting straight through the lobbies of other hotels (I swear the Shangri-La Hotel staff thought we were staying there).

Also, thank you Aurora, not only for the planning, but also for booking us at the Sydney Harbour YHA. That was a great find. The nicest of the two hostels I've ever stayed at. Clean, private bathrooms, and I didn't worry about getting lice from the sheets. And wi-fi (especially helpful to me since I still don't own a smartphone). Sorry, I forgot to take a picture of it but I'm sure you can look it up yourself. And that pretty much concludes the arrival into Sydney. We did do some wandering around the area that night, checked out the view from the roof, and I was sternly threatened to wear those extra strength Breath-Right strips every night.

Oh, and if you're wondering, toilets in Australia do not flush counter-clockwise. Why? Because they are too busy delivering a superior flushing experience compared to their American counterparts

And if you're wondering about the lack of commentary on the video, well, they frown upon you talking loudly to yourself as well as recording videos in the men's restroom at the airport (I told you that I would let you know as soon as I did).