Australia Day 2: Vineyards and Ivy

Now I remember why we slept so early yesterday. We needed to wake up early and catch a quick cab ride to the pick-up spot. Pick-up to where you ask? Well, thanks to her great planning skills, Aurora knew that what we needed on this trip was one epic adventure... and today was that day. The three of us were going WINE TASTING! Luckily, thanks to the taxi ride, we got to the spot early so we had time to grab breakfast

The other breakfast of champions

By the way (not that it matters), this morning was also the coldest I've ever been so far on this trip. I even managed to entertain myself for a good five minutes or so just watching my own breath in the cold.

The van was full so I walked around to the right side to climb into the passenger's seat. Did you spot what I did wrong? If so, you probably live in a country that drives on the left-hand side of the road (aka the wrong side). I opened the door to find myself staring at a steering wheel, which I blame completely on still being half asleep. Sam, our tour guide and driver, shared that another American actually climbed into the seat and sat there before realizing he was on the wrong side... and also that it's only Americans who make this mistake. Also, if you're wondering how I remembered the tour guides name, it's because I wrote it down as my ability to remember names is still terrible.

But that's enough of me doing stupid things (we'll have more time for that later). The first stop on the tour was a wildlife petting zoo. We got to see all the national creatures of Australia:

Kangaroos, family picture style

Koalas (as well as one of the few pictures of myself)

Emus

and this fucking thing (I'm starting to see why people hate birds so much)

I promise, I didn't touch him. He just started screaming at me

Then it was off to the chocolate factory where I got that spiced chocolate. You know the one. "oh, this is good. it's sweet and (pause) oh, what the hell is that! it's spicy!" Yeah, that chocolate (I got a good laugh when handing it out). Then we got to the first vineyard.

Honestly, most of the vineyards looked pretty much the same with the fields and fields of grapes so just imagine that image everytime I say the word vineyard (mostly because I don't feel the need to post pictures of each vineyard we went to... it's a lot of work). Also, as I tell you about the wine tasting, keep in mind that in my lifetime, I've probably drank enough wine to pour into a wine glass with what I know about it used to top it off. Luckily, my experience in drinking picked up the slack for my lack of knowledge.

I would like to say that I learned fairly quickly the art of wine drinking, though it took me a glass or two to remember to drink it in three sips for the best taste and all day to learn how to swirl it in the glass (and I still have no idea what exactly I'm supposed to be smelling when I sniff the wine). We got to sample about six or seven wines at the first vineyard. Also, just to debunk the myth, you do not need to spit out the wine once you drink it (as a lot of you have asked me). A couple whites (which I liked the best), a couple reds, and a sparkling wine (I think that's the right word... it was carbonated which gave it an interesting fizzy, soda taste). Then we got back in the van and headed off to the second vineyard.

The second vineyard is where I made my second mistake of the day  - not pre-ordering my lunch. See, the second place had a variety of places we could grab lunch at and me, being a dumbass, decided that I would rather look around instead of just ordering from the one place everyone else was (I still ended up with a sandwich from that shop anyway). This sadly meant getting my food late and not getting to try any of the wine at this place. Aurora and Taryn managed to get a taste so if you're really that curious, please feel free to ask one of them. And yes, I guess I could've managed to eat really quickly then rush over to the wine tasting and just start gulping one after another but I'd already been scolded for my classlessness (and would continue to be scolded throughout the rest of the trip... I guess one day I'll learn manners and such).

I gotta say, it was a pretty good sandwich. Tour guide Sam gets credit for this picture

Another van ride later we were at the third and final vineyard of the day.... I don't remember a whole lot about this place. I remember being entertained by the guy leading the wine tasting. I think he was giving the typical history of the place and wines as well as mixing in a joke here and there. Other than that, there was more wine to be drunk. And cheese to be eaten. Oh, and crackers.

As a bonus, we were also going to a BEER TASTING! Luckily, there wasn't any learning to be done at this place, just "tasting". And by tasting I mean they actually gave us a glass of beer, at a discounted price, but still a glass of beer. And, once again, I should remember more but the only things I can recall was drinking ginger beer and that Russian IPA beer pouring like motor oil. This was then followed by a long, and sometimes terrifying, ride back to our hostel. Terrifying? Yeah, only because back home you can't go making left turns whenever you want. So yeah, being in the front seat I was freaked out a little every time I saw the van turn into what I thought would be oncoming traffic.

Normally, this would be the end of a great day. I would stop writing, go to bed and pass out while you would finish reading, close your browser, and wait patiently until I finally took the time again to write the next chapter (or else just scroll over to your open porn tab). Well, you're in luck because there's more. So take the time to pop in some eye drops (and pause that video if you do have it already open and buffering), while I stretch my fingers for a bit (plus all this wine talk has made me a little thirsty... too bad I didn't bring any back).


And we're back. As I was saying, the day wasn't over yet. We got back and then immediately, we were off to Ivy. Well, not exactly immediately. You see, Ivy is a classy place. So classy, in fact, that our tour guide actually called up the bar to find out the dress code for us. And by us, I mean me. Because classiness has not yet become a style I'm prepared for. I quite literally threw on a clean pair of jeans and the one dress shirt I brought with me and I mistakenly thought I was ready to go. As somewhat of an adult, I can say that I've been dressing myself for a long time now and I'd like to think I've been doing a half-decent job at it. So imagine my surprise as I walked to the door only to be immediately stopped with a simple, "Umm, no." For the next ten minutes, Aurora and Taryn critiqued me from bottom to top, turning me into their personal Ken doll:

1. Why don't you have a nicer pair of shoes?
2. Roll up your pant legs
3. Tuck in your shirt (okay, that one I should've known, but I was hoping to get away with it)

Pictured: Classy Alan

I think the only thing I got a compliment on was that I actually owned a belt. Oh, and the sports jacket you see in the picture, that belongs to our 4th roommate, an Indian guy who had come to Australia to study. He suggested I take it, believing that I wouldn't get in without it. Then HE brought up the one thing I thought we were all going to ignore or at least forget about - "I'm surprised none of you mentioned his hair yet." That's when I realized he hated me. You see, I HATE combing my hair. I know, I'm 25 and this should be something I've accepted needs to be done in situations like this, and maybe one day I will come to terms with it, but that night was not yet that time.

The most traumatic moment of my life

Aurora did what she could with her limited supplies and even less of my cooperation to make my hair look like that of an adult. If you would like, please feel free to badger Aurora and Taryn's friend Eileena who also joined us that night and for the next couple of days (and who I allegedly met before but, in a drunken haze, can't seem to remember) to post up the video she made of the hair-combing incident. No, but seriously, if you are reading this, please post it. If I thought it was funny to watch what appears to be Aurora picking ticks out of my hair then I'm sure there are others who will to. Besides, there's enough embarrassing stuff of me online that one more won't make a difference.

Finally, we got to Ivy. Right, I promised a description. Well, one section is an open air with a long, rectangular pool in the middle which guests can actually go swimming in (this was not only confirmed by Mel but also when a couple people started jumping in) and pool chairs around the sides. This was where the four of us met up with Ben, Ai, Mel, and Leon (pics from Ai's archive of pictures):

The club section looked a bit more familiar. Well, at the very least it was indoors which made it familiar to me. There was a dance floor and bar on the bottom floor and a set of stairs leading to the lounge and bar upstairs. It was weird not tipping for every drink though it did save me a couple dollars. Unfortunately, it did lead to a looong wait time on some of my drinks (which I blame on the lack of tipping... I'm a great tipper). It was also difficult paying as the more I drank, the less I could remember what bill and/or coin was what. We also met a couple more of Ben and Mel's friends (I don't remember any of their names).

Like this guy... I have no idea who he is (Ben gets photo credit)

I don't exactly remember. I do remember the four of us taking a cab ride back to the hostel (because fuck walking at that point). I remember two guys yelling at each other outside, "Get over here. I'm gonna fuck you up." (Ahh, the soothing sounds of home). And I remember putting trust in my semi-proven hangover prevention method (which just simply involves drinking some water... as well as forcibly puking out whatever might still be in me). And so ends Day 2. You're welcome