Friday, March 14, 2014

100 Days Later

It's been 100 days since my last cigarette and I gotta say, it's the worst decision I've ever made. But its been 100 days and since I don't have a lot (or any) real accomplishments to brag about, I'm gonna take this opportunity to do so. But first, I should probably say this - I didn't quit for your typical health or financial reasons. Mostly, it was on a stupid challenge to myself that just got way out of hand. It originally started off as just one of my annual, I'm-gonna-quit-this-time-but-not-really campaigns. Typically I'll make it a few days or even a week before I just say "fuck it" and start smoking again like I knew I was going to all along. This time though, I got to the 3 week mark (the longest I've ever quit) and then it turned into New Years so I decided why the hell not just keep it up. And that's how I've gotten to this point now.

My first pack




Maybe it's because I was never a big smoker that it was actually possible to quit cold turkey. I never made it to a pack a day (even when they were 300 yen a pack in Japan). Maybe half a pack at the most. Usually, just to get through school, work, and boredom. I think it dropped to 3 or 4 cigarettes a day before I quit. Actually, I think the greatest temptation so far isn't stress or peer pressure like the commercials say it is. So far, the greatest temptation is boredom. Just plain, old boredom. Waiting at the bus stop, waiting in line, waiting for anything. I think I just need to upgrade to a smartphone and the cravings will probably disappear altogether.


Even though I didn't smoke a lot, there were definitely withdrawal symptoms. It sucked not getting my fixes throughout the work day, especially on the shitty days. Luckily, I managed to bury myself in all that shitty work so that helped distract me during the day. I somehow managed to not gain weight like everyone says happens when you quit. Probably because I dropped $20 in the company's weight-loss challenge around that time as well as that queasy feeling I was getting during the day from withholding said nicotine. Oh, it sucks but I assume I'm healthier now (at least that's what all the anti-tobacco propaganda wants me to believe). I guess I would know for sure if I actually got back into physical activity rather than just watching TV after sitting behind a desk for eight hours. Seriously, though, I'm sure the main reason I haven't just gone out and bought another pack is that I'm certain I'm gonna puke after my first drag. Not looking forward to that shining moment.

Even after all this time, though, I do miss some of smoking's more useful aspects:
  1. covering up unwanted smells like not showering the night before or the fact that I've been wearing the same pair of pants all week
  2. socializing with other smokers (trust me, there's no greater bond than ten of you trying to huddle under the same narrow ledge in the rain)
  3. getting out of awkward conversations/situations
  4. relieving boredom
  5. littering. because I'm helping the birds. and fuck mother nature
  6. flicking at your enemies. I've never actually done this as I don't have enemies and everyone likes me (though I probably just made quite a few with that statement)
I think I'll end this here. My fiction writing professor once commented on my story that as much as he liked smoking, "there's too much smoking in this story" and I think this is heading in the same direction. Don't worry, you've never read that story. It wasn't anywhere close to being my best work though one chapter of it did inspire the "Mr. Thompson" story. So that's 100 days. Maybe I'll make it to 200.