We climbed twenty flights of stairs, twenty stories, before she spoke again. "Bad news," she said. "Ground fighting moved back this way and unfortunately the flyers are still in combat above us." She opened the door and we found ourselves in an empty office filled with neatly lined cubicles and one phone that was still ringing. Seeing the confusion on my face, she gestured to the building next door. "I'm going to shatter this glass and drop you on that rooftop. The boards should still be in place so you can ride your bike across to the rooftops to the end of the street where the next Guide will get you. I'm going to join the flyers and try to draw everyone away from this area."
I shook my head. "Are you insane! You want me to not only ride my bike through a battlefield, but a battlefield several stories in the air. Besides why would they attack me? You said everyone agreed The Routes should be like a safe zone or something."
"The Routes change every week and so do the Guides. They won't know whose side you're on and either one might attack you." Seeing the fear on my face, she grabbed my shoulders. "No more time to argue. You're either going out that window and delivering those pizzas, or your trip stops here."
My hands shook. My whole body shook. Still, I took one, two breathes and steadied myself long enough to give her a nod. "I'm ready."
A shockwave shattered the glass, the pieces falling to the ground like a thousand deadly snowflakes. Sitting upon my bike, we soared into the air and landed gently on the next rooftop as planned. I started pedaling toward the next rooftop and the board connecting the two. As much as I wanted to see the new superhero in action, I knew I needed to get across and to the next checkpoint. I had a job to do, after all.
At the last rooftop, I found a locked fire escape door and nothing else. She said the next hero was supposed to be here but unless he was shaped like an empty beer bottle, there was nobody around. I swore again as explosions pressurized the air above me, almost knocking me to the ground.
As I panicked and pounded on the fire escape door, the fighting got closer. A heat ray ripped off a corner of the roof. A pair exchanged punches in mid-air and one of them came crashing down into the side of the building below me with his opponent following right behind.
Suddenly a green light enveloped my bike and I, and we began flying into the air. Whoa, a tractor beam, I thought, I wonder which hero is going to be my Guide this time. Robo-guard. The Mecha-man. Space Queen.
After another brilliant green flash, I opened my eyes to find myself seated on the floor of a command deck of a spaceship. In front of me, a giant screen showed the chaos outside as heroes battled villains. Around me, were monitors and control panels but no one sitting at them. A throat cleared behind me. "Welcome to The Dreadnought."
The Dreadnought. No one's ship was named that. At least none of the heroes had a ship named that. My eyes widened as I turned to find myself face to face with The Omega. He wore a black cloak and a black helmet covered his head. A chrome plate covered his face with a red stylized Omega symbol etched onto the front.
My heart pounded in my chest and my breath quickened. Instinctively I scurried away, sliding along the floor until my back pressed up against the floor to ceiling view screen. "Oh god, please don't kill me. I'm just trying to deliver some pizzas," I said while my brain started a running monologue apologizing for every bad thing I'd ever done in case this really was the last moment of my life.
"Stop this foolishness and give me your destination," boomed The Omega's deep bass voice as he took a couple steps closer.
My breathing slowed by a fraction, just enough to let me speak. "You're my Guide? But aren't you a villain?"
The Omega stopped, and even with his helmet on, I could feel his stare. Then he shrugged. "My goals are to establish a New World Order under my rule, not to murder lowly pizza boys. Besides, my new regime will require a lower class to fulfill my wishes and you blue collar drones would fill that role nicely." Suddenly he was in front of me, close enough for me to see my reflection in his helmet. "Now, your destination."
I gave him the address and he tapped a few keys on a console. As we started to move, I looked out to see the full-scale war still in front of us. "How are we going to get passed that?"
The Omega stood statue still with his head cocked, as if I'd just asked if water was wet. "Have you forgotten where you are, and who I am?" he said. He hit another key on a control pad and the world outside exploded in a brilliant, blinding flash. It made every death ray, missile strike, and energy blast up until now look like sparklers. When I was finally able to see again, the world outside appeared in just shades of gray as something like ashes settled on everything still standing. The only movement outside were the bodies falling to the ground.
"Are they dead?" I asked.
"They are out of the way," The Omega said and The Dreadnought floated right along above the buildings toward my destination.
We moved in silence for a minute or two before the eerie silence got to me. "So is that why you're helping me? To preserve slaves for your eventual takeover?"
The Omega turned to me. "Why I'm helping with The Routes? Yes. Why I'm helping you specifically?" He paused, staring at the view screen. Then, his reflective mask opened, revealing just an ordinary, middle-aged man underneath. "When Giovanoni said he had a protege brave enough to deliver pizzas in this madness, I knew I needed to see for myself. Plus I owed my former partner a favor."
My eyes widened. "Mr. Giovanoni was a supervillain?" I stammered.
The briefest of smiles crossed The Omega's face before his mask snapped shut again. "We're here," he said. Suddenly I was falling through the air in the same green light that brought me aboard The Dreadnought. I found myself outside the apartment building with minutes to spare.
From a Reddit Writing Prompt: In a world of superheroes and supervillains, you just want to deliver pizzas. I think there was more to the prompt as well, but I didn't care about that part. I mostly wanted to write this because I haven't had the chance to write a superhero story for a while, and why not start with one where the protagonist doesn't have any superpowers. The idea of superheros and supervillains sort-of working together kind of comes from "The Sovereignty" storyline I was working on years ago, but the idea of The Routes is new and I thought of it just for this. I had more ideas/ explanations on how The Routes worked that didn't make it into the story because, obviously, it would be even longer, and already at this length I needed to break it into 2 posts on Reddit. I broke it into two parts here because I expect most people to read this crap while taking a shit and I figure you can read about 200-300 words per minute, and if you're in the stall for a good 5-7 minute deuce, then this should be enough time. Another thing I meant to add was a beginning part where the main character was at the pizza shop. This was only going to be significant because I was going to have the novice superhero be another delivery person, the idea being that these types of jobs allow supers to walk away from a job shift without being fired. I also thought about writing it so that The Omega accompanied the main character to the door, mostly to threaten them when they didn't pay for the pizzas. I guess that's it for the story. Unfortunately for you, I've already got another story that I'm working on, as well as 2 other posts that are almost done (getting around to typing is so hard).
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