Dog Day

 

This is Candy. She's fifteen years old. She has brown fur with a white-tipped tail and a black mark on her tongue. We got her from The Humane Society, so, you know, she was relatively cheap compared to buying other dogs, and while that's not a breed, it is the only dog I can afford. No, I've got no idea what breed of dog she actually is.

Most of Candy's days start at about 5:00am, sometimes earlier, when she starts barking to let me know she needs to poop and eat. Just a constant, steady, three-round Bark, Bark, Bark until I can assure her I'm awake. Yes, I do manage to drag myself out of bed around that time, too, as she refuses to eat breakfast after 7:30am, maybe 7:45am at the latest. Her morning walk ranges from traveling to the end of the street or maybe around the corner and up the next street - however long it takes for her to drop her morning poop. The mornings I've woken up late for work and don't have the time to take her out, she's voiced her displeasure by refusing to eat until she does poop, once, right at my feet.

Most days while I'm out at work, Candy spends her days keeping to herself as there's no one around to keep an eye on her. This includes activities such as roaming around the house, sleeping on her blankets or in her grave, sorry, the pit she dug, and taunting the other dogs with her freedom while occasionally displaying her dominance by shitting in front of their kennel with her usual satisfied grin. 

On the days when I do find myself at home, either because it's the weekend or I've got a day-off from work, I'd be able to keep her in the cooler garage to hang-out, which just means she'd plop herself down to sleep while I'd either read or wrote pieces.

 

With as many as I bought, Candy never really cared about toys, getting bored of balls or frisbees pretty early in life. Unless it's food, she doesn't care.

 

On one of these days, once a month, would come the dreaded bath. Even at 15 years old, with arthritis in her joints, she still fights me at bath time. Whether it be refusing to get into the tub or trying to escape once in, she is always looking for an exit to avoid the inevitable. She can't even get in or out of the tub without assistance since she can't jump nor lift her legs high enough, but that still doesn't stop her from trying (and scrapping her face in the dirt when she trips).

When she was confined to the backyard, I'd come home, park my car, and open my car door to the sound of Candy's cries for freedom. Looking down the side of the house, I'd see her looking back at me, waiting for me to come back there with her leash for her afternoon walk. Once she was allowed to roam, however, I'm now greeted with a headbutt as she tries to push past to the street behind me once I open the gate.

Older, obviously, our walks go slower as she no longer tries to run from random spot to random spot only to stop suddenly to smell ... whatever it was she was smelling. Her first lap around the block usually goes at an even pace as she uses the time to refamiliarize herself with the neighborhood, sniffing and peeing at all the usual spots while I play either PokemonGo or Monster Hunter Now and (sort of) keep an eye on traffic (there aren't sidewalks). After a lap, it's time for a water break and, maybe, lying down on the pitching screen for a belly rub before heading back out.

 

 

The second lap (which, 90% of the time, is never a full lap) requires more attention on my part as this is when Candy is more likely to try to eat random objects off the ground, not all of it food, or edible. Thanks to her experience and old age, she no longer tries to fight me though when I want to take things from her mouth. No, instead she simply falls over, daring me to stoop down and pry her prize from her mouth while looking like an asshole who shoved my dog to anyone else watching.

Finally tired, Candy plops herself down on a mess of sheets and towels ... and passes out. Honestly, this didn't happen when she was confined to the backyard all day, so I guess doing laps around the house all day really tires her out. I like to think she uses that time to not only rest, but to allow me time to play with the other pups. She does announce when she wakes and is ready to eat - meaning playtime with the other dogs is finished - by, still from a lying position, barking. A constant, steady back which will last as long as it takes for me to collect any toys and exit the kennel, then assure her that her food is on its way.

Her food? Once she got a taste for the wet stuff, she never went back. Unfortunately, my wallet can't sustain her fancy palate, so she gets a mix of canned and dry food, which works best for my budget, her chewing issue (as in, she doesn't), and her poops which get too watery when she eats only canned food. Candy is however very particular about the process in which she eats. I'm not sure how it started, or why she wants it this way, but she never goes right for the food in her bowl. Instead, I have to lure her to it with the exact same food but served on a spoon. Yeah, exactly like feeding a baby by playing "Airplane." I've gotta entice her to eat the exact same food she eats everyday by tempting her to first lick it off a spoon before she says, "Yes, this is acceptable," and sticks her face into her bowl. After dinner, I'd leave her to lie down and rest, knowing I'll be called back later in the night.

Always at around 9:00pm, she'll start calling for attention. Typically, it's just to get me outside to watch her drink water, or sometimes to poop, before she lays back down as if she simply requires an audience. I don't know why she likes to have someone around when she poops, but her "drinking water" quirk is definitely my fault. Back when she was younger at one of her vet visits, the vet told us Candy was suffering from dehydration which is crazy since she always has water in her bowl. From then on, I was forcing her to drink water whenever she had the chance. In fact, one of the very few commands she learned (as I am, in fact, a shit trainer) was "Drink Water," to which she would lap up at least a couple tongues of water (or more if she was actually thirsty).

I put Candy to sleep on March 16th, 2024. Wow, umm, I wrote out all that other stuff about her day in one go, off-the-cuff, but that one line just stopped my pen as my eyes started to water. Umm, okay, so I put Candy to sleep on March 16th, 2024. She would've been 16 years old this month. Despite starting like any other, I think she might've known something was going on. For one, it was the only time I can remember she handled a bath without issue. No fighting, no fidgeting. I got her into the tub and she stood calmly for her bath. I let her walk around the rest of the day except when I kept her in the garage for a bit. There, she decided that since I was scratching her, she might as well lie down on my feet where she dozed for a bit. As cute as this sounds, I was crouched in a kinda uncomfortable position, and needed to pee, but ... I mean, you can't move when an animal falls asleep on you, right?

Then, it was time to go. Again, surprisingly, she didn't give me too much trouble when getting into my car. Usually it takes a couple of tries to get her into the passenger foot-well of my car, but this time she simply settled into the spot and waited for us to go. My sister and I got her to the vet on-time only for them to tell us they didn't have an appointment for Candy. Hearing that, part of me thought about throwing Candy back into the car and driving away, but we waited and they figured out the scheduling issue. Inside, after fitting Candy with a catheter for the drug administration, they let us spend some time with her to say goodbye before letting her go, which, of course, is never long enough. 

If you're curious, the "sleep process" involves three different injections to stop your pets heart. Pretty simple, right. Well, it was at this point that Candy decided to live up to me being her owner. As I said, it's a pretty simple process, but, if you know me, I can always find a way to make things harder than they should be, and Candy chose that moment to keep the tradition going. So, Candy got the first injection, and, instead of circulating through her system, it just stopped and bubbled in her leg. "Huh, she doesn't appear to be getting sleepy," I thought as the vet had this look that said, "Huh, that's not supposed to happen." The vet needed to bring in another person to help take Candy out of the room and get the issue resolved.

Finally, the vet brought her back into the room, gave her the final two injections, and then Candy was gone. The vet let us stay in the room to sit with Candy for as long as we needed. It felt comforting to hold her head in my hands the same way she would sometimes fall asleep in them, and to say, for one final time, "Okay, you be good," as I walked away.

 

Patron of Structure

I sat patiently, hands clasped in front of me, as the developer's representative and his assistant spoke amongst themselves. Between us, on the large table, lay my designs for the city's new hospital.

"Honestly, I'm not trying to challenge your genius, Mr. Weaver. We're all truly happy not only to have a building designed with your brilliance, but also for you to take time to come all the way here to present it to us. I'm simply hoping you might explain the reason for the seven, umm, eagles jutting out at these corners?" said Mr. Miller as he pointed to the tower schematics.

"Griffins," I said, then, seeing the look of confusion, added, "they're griffins, not eagles. You can tell from the lion paws."

"Right, griffins. Well, the investors are wondering if they're necessary to the overall architecture and aesthetic. Based on our calculations, removing them from the plans completely would save us several thousand dollars in time, material, and artistic consultation and design." Next to him, Ms. Bell silently pulled a sheet of paper from a folder - an estimated budget report.

I immediately slid the paper off to the side without even looking at it. "Well, first, you can eliminate the costs of any additional consultants you think you might need. You'll find I've already included the exact specifications for each individual griffin."

Keeping my eyes on Mr. Miller, I pulled a worn, hardbound book from my bag, several pages marked with post-it notes of various colors. "As for their importance, well, I was hoping you and your company, your investors, and the city would already know the answer to that. We are building this city a new hospital, after all, and what better way to connect it to the city's history than through the Griffin family. Seven generations they committed to ensuring the well-being of the city's citizens, responding to plagues, outbreaks, food contamination, poisonings, riots, drug overdoses, and the like." Turning to a marked page after every disaster, I then slammed the book shut. "So, imagine my surprise to see a lack of memorials dedicated to their family's service."

I could see Mr. Miller nodding along as I read off the Griffin family's achievements, the smile on his face growing as he realized how he could not only sell this vast idea to his investors but also the general public (connecting with one's roots was very popular right now), but I still needed to be certain he used these exact plans. Keeping my eyes locked on Mr. Miller's, I called to Him. "Zonoraphesteus," I said in my thoughts, and instantly I felt a firm hand grasp my shoulder, present yet invisible.

To anyone else, Mr. Miller's eyes were still locked on my own, though I could see them drift ever so subtly as if also looking at someone or something just behind me. "Yes, you're absolutely right, Mr. Weaver. We should be more connected with the city's past and what better way than through the Griffin family, pioneers in the medical field."

"Um, Mr. Miller," said Ms. Bell with a rising venom in her voice, "Are you sure you don't want to discuss this further. Our investors, not to mention the tax payers, might not be too happy with agreeing to Mr. Weaver's every demand. Perhaps just one or two of these... griffins would suffice instead?"

"No, no, no Ms. Bell, we're going to go with Mr. Weaver's designs exactly as drawn," he said, dismissing her words and packing his papers. Ms. Bell followed suit, still staring angrily at me. "Thank you again for your time, Mr. Weaver, and for reviewing your designs with us, personally." As he shook my hand, he leaned in and whispered, "So, just between you and I, how do you come up with these designs? I've seen pictures of the plans and designs you've submitted to other cities, and they're fabulous. But this one, and to include the griffins, and all on such short notice, it's all just too brilliant."

"Well, to be honest," I replied in an equally conspiratorial tone, "it just comes to me in my dreams." We stared at each other for a bit before both letting out a chuckle.

"Very funny, Mr. Weaver. Thank you again for your time." Mr. Miller again shook my hand and the left the room, followed by Ms. Bell who paused a few seconds to give me one last glare.

Both of them out of the meeting room, I collapsed back into the chair. "Okay. Looks like we got them onboard with Your design," I said to a seemingly empty room.

"Very good. I'm once again happy to say you've fulfilled your part of our bargain," said a silent yet booming voice I still wasn't certain I was hearing with my ears on in my mind. Across from me in the seat Mr. Miller vacated formed a shadowy figure in the shape of a human being. "Though you did call upon My power, so perhaps I should be thanking myself," said Zonoraphesteus.

I leaned back in my chair, hoping to appear relaxed. "You said to ensure they built it exact. I assumed it best to pull on some of the power lent to me to get the job done."

The shadow appeared to lean forward, fingers steepled. "Yes, an acceptable strategy," He said, then nodding to the book, added, "What was your plan if either of them had asked for a closer look at your empty prop?"

I watched the book detailing the Griffin family's history vanish back to the nothingness I'd conjured it from. "Well, I guess I would've tried really hard to fill it with words," I said with a smile.

"You won't be able to talk your way out of every problem, my acolyte. You'll need to get dirt on your hands one day." Zonoraphesteus shadowy form leaned back in his chair. "Perhaps another deal, and I could grant you such power?"

I shuddered at the thought, shaking my head. "Thank you for the offer, but I'll pass. I'm truly thankful for the visions You send to create these beautiful plans. I know You're only using them to keep Your rivals, gods or what not, from entering this world You want so much, but I'm only in it for the money it brings in. So, I think we should stick with our current pact."

I felt His gaze upon me for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and vanishing, leaving me alone in a, hopefully, empty room.

"So, who are you working for really?" came a familiar voice from behind me as I exited the building. Turning, I found Ms. Bell with her glare still in her eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm just a freelance architect, as you know, Ms. Bell. Your company reached out to me for a design." It was her tone, though, more than her eyes, that prompted me to continue cautiously walking away.

"No, no, no. Both you and I know the Griffin family never existed, at least not as the people of this city may remember. People they were not, but actual, majestic beasts from mythology. The seven of them driving my Patron from these lands millennia ago and back to his realm where he still waits. I've worked too hard this last decade to rid this city of its griffin iconography and allow The Nerparchter a foothold back into this world." Above her toxic gaze, another set of glowing red eyes opened, then narrowed. A sickening miasma radiated off of her, so strong I could've sworn it was visible. Most terrifying, though, were the large daggers which formed in her hands - gold ceremonial handles and green, crystal-like blades glinting in the streetlights. "That same silver tongue you used to persuade Mr. Miller won't stop your death."

"Oh shit," I said, my attempt to slink away turning into a full sprint down the street. "Zonoraphesteus, I may need some of that combat power You're always talking about. You wouldn't want to lose Your acolyte, would You?" I turned down the next street, cutting between car sitting in rush-hour traffic before turning down a narrow alley.

An amused laugh filled my mind and sent a cold shiver down my spine. "Hmm, did you not already decline My previous offer just a moment earlier? No, I think I shall allow you this opportunity to prove yourself. While you have been surprisingly successful, you are still but one of My many tools operating in this realm, a tool which appears may need to be honed."

Frustrated. Angry. Scared. Abandoned. I continued sprinting, turning blindly down random streets and alleys hoping to escape. "You piece of -" Unfortunately, most human beings (including myself) will be stopped in its tracks by a brick wall smashing their face. Luckily, for me though, a brick wall stopped me in my tracks, and from finishing outburst.

A minute later, Ms. Bell turned the corner with murder in her eyes ... and the tools to get it done in her hands. Thirty feet behind me stood a solid, imposing brick wall preventing further retreat. I raised my empty hands. "I'll give you one chance to renounce your patron and leave this city. Your patron may eventually catch-up with you, but at least if you take my offer, you'll survive the night."

A predator stalking her prey, she came at me slowly, deliberately, watching me for any motion I may make to escape. Twenty feet away, she stopped. A wind cut through, shaking loose bricks and spilling dust onto the two of us. "I'll be rewarded handsomely for not only taking your life but furthering The Nerparchter's plans for this city,"  said Ms. Bell, her daggers radiating an eerie, sickening glow. Seeing the motes of dust and dirt sprinkle around us, she took a quick glance at the building we were standing within. "So, an acolyte of Zonoraphesteus, a being of structure and law, decides to make his last stand in this decrepit, run-down building. How fitting, almost poetic."

Lowering my hands, I shook my head and smiled. "You've been here for a decade at least yet know so little about this city. Abandoned, yes, but there are no dilapidated buildings on this block. In fact, we're standing at the very spot they're going to build my hospital."

Her hands lowered slightly as her eyes again scanned the building. "Impossible. The Knight Building isn't missing any walls. How can we be inside without entering through a door?"

My smile grew wider. "I'm an acolyte of Zonoraphesteus, a god of structure. I simply 'persuaded' the walls to open for us." Raising my hand, I added, "Speaking of which, thank you for your assistance. You may return to your form once again."

Above Ms. Bell, loose bricks rumbled before dropping like a theater curtain on the closing act, crushing her beneath its weight.

"Hmm, very clever, My acolyte." I heard the voice of Zonoraphesteus in my head. "Perhaps you are worthy of more power. Continue with your project and service, and it shall be granted."

Based on the Reddit Writing Prompt "You receive visions of grand building designs. After the completion of your latest one, your Patron reveal itself." My first idea for this story was simply the first conversation between the architect and the Patron, showing the architect learning about his new role or something like that. I'd gotten started, maybe a third of the way through before abandoning it as it got boring to write. Deciding to do a bit more with the idea, I had the architect already knowing he was doing the Patron's bidding, and then put an antagonist seeking to stop him. One of the issues, of course, was how to insert all of the backstory/ context to understand the deal into this short piece (or it was supposed to be short), especially with Reddit's comment character limit (Note: I went over it by a lot, couldn't edit it down to fit a single comment box, then just gave up and posted it in three comments). So, obviously, I'm once again (for the whatever time this is) trying to get back into writing again (preferably on a more consistent basis), so let's see how this goes. Also, if you found this, wow, you are dedicated ... or just really bored, because I didn't share this one. Honestly, not my best work, and thus not worth being shared. I just wanted to get something done, and really, that's one of the parts of writing I struggle with (and I think others do too) - knowing when to stop and finish. Everything can be edited, tweaked, worked on just a bit more (just ask my suicide note), so it's really important to know when to just stop (usually through setting a deadline). As for this particular story, as I mentioned, I'm not really happy with it, but I did like the idea. A while back, I had an idea for an urban fantasy story involving a wizard who couldn't use magic in the traditional way, so maybe this character could be added to that story.

Books of 2024: Quarter 2 (comics)

 

 Okay, so that last one ran long, so now here's the comics

Kill Your Darlings #5 - 8  by Ethan Parker and Griffin Sheridan

 

 The reason for the witch's assault on Rose and her fantasy world is revealed, their pasts' entwined thanks to an accident committed by Rose's mother. Rose, Elliott, and a fraction of Rosewood's subjects escape before the witch Eleanor transforms them and their land into horrors. Years pass as Rose attempts to master her magic and abilities while she and Elliott kindle a romance. Finally, Rose and Eleanor confront each other in a final battle for control over this fantastical realm and its inhabitants. In victory, Rose spares Eleanor's life, recognizing she too is also a victim of the trauma dealt to her. Despite learning all she could from the witch's tome, Rose is unable to reshape the land back to what it once was. Her attempt, however, opens a doorway back to reality, thus merging the two worlds instead. Though she leaves the world of the fantastical, Rose continues to help others battle the monsters that haunt them.

The conclusion of this great series, one of the best of the year! (note: now that I'm kinda in the community, I've been hearing folks say that indie comics are the best they've ever been, so that makes sense). First off, I know I don't talk about art too much, but I loved it - the pretty art combined with the horror/revenge theme of the story. It also took me a while to notice (and makes me glad I continued to by these in single issues rather than a collected trade paperback), but each issue has a wraparound cover, which you don't always get despite being really cool.

The backstory and connections between Rose's family and Eleanor the witch is revealed and ... that just felt kinda "meh" for me. I was expecting the evil to simply be a monster born from the same world that Rose's fantasy land exists in, but this explanation makes more sense based on the title of the story, and also with the conclusion as well. These last four issues have had great callbacks, including Rosewood's treasure, The Hidden Flame, and even Rose's sword, Francine. I loved the pacing of the story, not dragging on for too long as some stories might, and even providing just a quick single issue for backstory instead of dragging that out too. I enjoyed Rose's journey from just a happy child to abandoned teen to a strong and confident woman in her final battle where she makes the tough choice. The clashing juxtaposition of cute/cuddly fantasy characters with the horror that could have very well been Rose's fantasy world was great and kept me hooked early on in the series, and was given an even deeper meaning once Rose's family history was revealed.

Avengers Twilight #1 - 6 (complete) by  Chip Zdarsky

Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, has joined with an underground Defenders movement to free America from its totalitarian government. Joining him are a rescued Tony Stark, a brand-new Hawkeye, a re-summoned Thor, and an out-of-hiding Ms. Marvel. They've discovered the new Avengers protecting America are merely projections, a fabrication created by The Red Skull to bring America under his control. Encased in armor with James Stark (Tony's son) at his side, he's launched an attack on the US government. The Defenders set out to protect the country and stop The Red Skull's plan, confronting the Nazi's ultimate weapon (and the reason for H-Day itself) - a collared and controlled Hulk.

As I mentioned after reading issues #1 - 4, I was really interested in the premise though having the combined villainy of The Red Skull and Ultron be the driving force behind the totalitarian government Captain America is fighting against feels like a kind of a let-down. I was really hoping this series would see Captain America fighting against an America he no longer recognized, making it a discussion about America itself. The ending itself was superb, especially with the death of Bruce Banner/The Hulk, a mercy-killing freeing him finally from his curse. I also felt proud seeing James Stark attempting to rebuild after his error in judgment siding the a masked Red Skull in his attempt to takeover America. Overall, this felt like a good series, kind of reminiscent of DC's The Dark Knight Returns series featuring an older Bruce Wayne once again taking on the mantle of Batman - an older man outside his prime looking to restore order to a world that had left him behind.

Marvel GODS #4 - 8 (complete) by Jonathan Hickman

Continuing along with tale of the supernatural and the Powers above, ie Gods, the following issues involve individual stories, each connected with Wyn's journey. Dimitri, on a quest go find his parents who disappeared into another reality, gets caught-up with another supernatural group before disappearing himself. Aiko, on a quest to right a wrong, deals with several gods of many tiers before getting caught in a trap herself. Wyn, having humiliated one of these gods, losses a piece of his life before bearing witness (a hundred years later) to the end of a war between gods (and the destruction of an entire pantheon). Having witnessed all that he has in service to The Powers That Be, Wyn journeys through time, evaluating his life, only to arrive at his wedding day to witness his own marriage to the love of his life - a love he would eventually give up because of his duties. For being a loyal Avatar, The Powers That Be offer him a choice - to continue serving as he has, or make a change with could have ramifications throughout the Marvel universe.

As confused as I was through the first couple of issues, I think I started to get the hang of it through these last few issues. Perhaps it was because these issues were more of one-shot stories and were a little easier to follow than before, although they did feed into the overarching storyline. As I also mentioned, I'm always a sucker for stories of the supernatural, higher beings, and of course those "names"/"titles". I really loved the issue focusing on Aiko attempting to fix her mistake by making deals with gods only to be screwed over at the end - it was really cool to see her quest amongst higher beings. Also, (hopefully), as a very, very new comic collector, I'm really hoping that there is some sort of continuation with these characters only because we see the first appearance of The Powers That Be in GODS #8, making it sort of a Key Issue as long as the character gets popular enough for other collectors to care. Since I was just talking about is, I've heard some rumors that Wyn's ultimate decision might actually affect the rest of the Marvel Universe, so I'm just going to keep the results in mind as I keep on reading comics.

The Bloody Dozen: A Tale of the Shrouded College #1 - 6 (complete) by Charles Soule

 Finishing up this arc of "The Shrouded College" universe, the Hill family has repelled their attackers only to find themselves confronted by the vampires they were sent to retrieve. Despite George Hill's attempt to kill the vampires and return his family to safety, he is betrayed by Glory, his own granddaughter and the newest addition to the vampire clan. The remaining survivors are sent to the dark side of the moon to wait for the time when The Shrouded College calls upon them to act.

The second series from "The Shrouded College" universe, a story about family and addiction, the story ultimately serves to further establish new characters, new rivals, and the reach of The Shrouded College. Other than that, it falls flat on its conclusion as I hoped it might do more to either connect to the first series, "Hell to Pay," or set-up an upcoming third arc. I've definitely seen this type of problem with other "sequels" and "Volume 2" stories that leave too much out of their ending knowing they've got another story on the way. However, since these stories aren't connected in a traditional sense (by main character, usually), I'd hoped for a more defined ending rather than one that simply puts its characters in a "holding area" until needed. That all said, I mean, I still love this idea and I'm still going to pick-up the next story arc, though maybe I should wait for the trade paperback release.

Quick Stops Volume 2, issues #1 - 4 (complete) by Kevin Smith

It's the 35th anniversary of the creation of Mooby, the cartoon cow which has spawned books, a fast-food franchise, and even an entire theme park. For the anniversary, Kayla interviews Mooby's creator, Mrs. Nancy Goldruff about the mysterious origin of Mooby's creation. What follows is a tale of debauchery involving drugs, lust, deceit, greed, and, ultimately, murder - a tale which Mrs. Goldruff has kept secret for 35 years, and still plans to through a ritual Satanic sacrifice. Will the truth be told to the world, or will Mrs. Goldruff keep her dark secret secure for a little longer?

Coming back with another story from his Askewneverse, Kevin Smith presents the creation story of Mooby, the cartoon cow featured as the fast-food mascot of Mooby's in "Clerks 2" and the golden cow in "Dogma." Unlike the first volume of short-stories presented in "Quick Stops Volume 1," "Volume 2" gives a longer, connected story across its four issues. I liked that the entire volume was connected to present a longer story, especially for a "character" that has appeared in multiple movies. I was a little scared that because they are all connected and I didn't want to put such a short run on my pull-list, I might not get the full set and miss out on the story. The last volume was a set of unconnected short stories, so if I missed an issue, I wouldn't be missing part of the story. And, I think only one of the shops I frequent even carried it.

As for the story itself, I was kinda disappointed with it. The story itself was enjoyably shocking through the first two issues, but it started to feel played out after that. If, perhaps, most of the story was contained in the first two, two-and-a-half issues of the story, I think they could've adjusted the last two issues to make it better. Like the last volume, I hoped to see more of the Askewneverse characters make cameo appearances. Because of the Satanic sacrifice at the end, I was really hoping to get maybe an appearance by God or the Metatron, played respectively by Alanis Morissette and Alan Rickman in "Dogma," so that feels like a missed opportunity.

Washed in the Blood #1 - 3 (complete) by Kevin Roditeli and Rob Cannon

Imagine you are called upon to become the messiah of the worst god to ever exist. That's exactly what happens to young Kralex when Cold, the god of guns, calls upon him after the ritual suicide conducted by the rest of the cult leaves him as the sole survivor. With Colt insulting him, urging him to kill, Kralex will take all of the accumulated weapons to look for help. What he finds will eventually drive Colt from his head and leave him in peace.

Note: So, I finished this awhile back and forgot to do a write-up about it, and it was particularly weird and I fell behind in writing (as usual), and I don't feel like going back to getting everything correct. With that said, here we go. As I mentioned, I'm not exactly sure how accurate all of this is (but who really cares as no one is reading this anyway, at the very least not this story). It was a really weird three issues. I liked the art, which definitely added to the story, and I liked the premise when I read it, but as I read the execution of it, well, that's where the story lost me. If I remember correctly, the whole thing starts with a group of gods trying to resurrect themselves into existence (or something like that) by getting people to worship them or their ideas. Colt (as he is later called) is a real asshole, insulting Kralex almost every chance he gets which seems counter to the idea of resurrecting himself through worship. Sorry, it was just so strange. It does mention early on that this is a parody, I think, of gun culture in America, and I'm hoping I understood it but maybe not. This is one that I really should've waited for the trade paperback version instead of buying individual issues as it's easier to off-load.

Ultimate Spider-Man #4 - 6 by Jonathan Hickman

 Focusing more on the relationship between Peter Parker and Harry Osborn, the two discuss their current fight against crime, including how they got into the crime-fighting scene. More is revealed about how and why Osborn chose to take-up the Green Goblin mantle. Finally, the two attempt to take on an enhanced Kingpin only to retreat. Plus, Parker does the unimaginable - revealing his secret identity to the rest of his family.

If there's a comic series you should be reading right fucking now, it is this one! Look, Spider-man is such a popular character, everyone should at least be a little familiar with the character, and the new Ultimate Universe is its own universe not connected to the main universe so you don't actually need to know a lot about the Marvel comic in general. It's such a good story. In these issues, we spend a lot more time focusing on Parker and Osborn's relationship as they go on a dinner date with their respective partners, Mary Jane and (holy shit!) Gwen Stacey. Harry reveals how his company was forced into The Kingpin's (and thus, The Maker's) orbit, and how he got his hands on the Stark/Stane Technology he uses. Finally, in (I think), one of the only fights in these three issues, we see the two team-up to take on The Kingpin - and lose. Of course, it couldn't be that easy, and it does help to set-up some new villains to be introduced. But, when was the last time you read a superhero comic and had to wait a couple of issues between battles while still be hooked on to the story? And, of course, seeing Parker no longer keeping his identity secret from his family - it's such a huge shock compared to his other, primary Marvel universe counterpart (is it 616 that's the main one?). The story for this series has been great so far, and Marvel made the smart choice choosing to start its new Ultimate universe with such a popular character with so much potential. And, yes, I'm still buying variant copies which look cool but will never pay-off in the future.

 

Ultimate Black Panther #1 - 5 by Brian Edward Hill

With The Maker now trapped in his City, his lieutenants are starting to branch out to maintain their hold on the world. In the African region, Ra and Khonshu have moved to secure the region, killing everyone in their path. In Wakanda, T'Challa, his queen, Okoye, and his sister, Shuri, debate how to handle this new threat while still protecting Wakanda's secrecy. Outside the kingdom, Killmonger and Wind-Rider fight back against The Maker's minions. After an attack on his people, The Black Panther sets out alone to not only conduct reconnaissance but also fight back against this threat. Meeting with the vigilantes/freedom fighters, T'Challa will discover a new element (the antithesis to the Vibranium so precious to his kingdom) and the true reason for Khonshu and Ra's conquest.

The second series in Marvel's new Ultimate storyline Ultimate Black Panther picks-up in the African region and focuses not only on Black Panther T'Challa but also the pain Khonshu and Ra who have joined The Maker's council. So, first off, I've never been a big Marvel comic book reader as I've mentioned before. That said, I was surprised Marvel went with Black Panther as their next hero for this new Ultimate universe as I didn't think Black Panther was as popular as many other characters they could've gone with. Following the success of "The Black Panther" movie and to give a story set someplace outside of the Americas where Ultimate Spider-man is set, I understand why you'd choose the character. Of course, like other Ultimate Universe stories, it is interesting to see the tweaks in these characters thanks to The Maker's influence. Luckily, besides The Black Panther movies, and The Moon Knight Disney+ show, and the X-men movies, I really don't know a lot about the characters established here. T'Challa wrestling with his responsibilities as a king and a warrior definitely gives the story a different feel than Ultimate Spider-man and Ultimate X-Men in case you might think Marvel is simply re-skinning the same stories. Honestly, I almost didn't pick this one up, not because I didn't want to, but because issue one was completely sold out when I got to both the stores I frequent. Luckily, I found a second print to get me started and then I got it on my reserve list after that.

Ultimate X-Men #1 - 4 by Peach Momoko

Starting highschool is stressful enough for loner Hisako Ichiki, but when a shadowy figure begins stalking her, things only get worse. Blaming her for the death of her friend Tsubasa, the ghost attacks her, forcing Hisako's mutant abilities to reveal itself to protect her. Fellow classmate, Mai Igarashi not only witnesses Hisako's transformation, but also reveals powers of her own, and the two become friends as the ghost continues to haunt Hisako. A horror story set in Marvel's new Ultimate Universe, what new powers and abilities will be revealed, and will Hisako perhaps put together her own team to fight back against this mysterious figure?

So, I was definitely interested in this series not only because it is a part of Marvel's new Ultimate universe, but also because it is helmed by Peach Momoko who does both the writing and artwork. I don't know much about her story work, but I'm really fascinated by these water-color style drawings. I've picked-up several comics simply because she did the cover art for them, including one issue of I Hate Fairyland. Like the other two Ultimate series, the story is set in a world changed by The Maker's influence. Unlike the other series though, the focus is not on superheroes but rather feels more like a Japanese Horror manga with a shadowy, unknown force haunting Hisako (and, perhaps soon, her other mutant classmates). Side note: Shadow King from Legion? It's an interesting read so far as Hisako and her classmates explore their powers (without the traditional X-men to look after them) while a ghostly presence lurks. Also, check out these variant covers

Just because I think it should be addressed, I have heard chatter that the series is facing some backlash amongst X-men fans as the series doesn't depict the traditional superhero story nor the classic X-men characters. To that, I don't think it should. First, The Maker would've found a way to neutralize Cyclops, Jean Grey, and your traditional X-men team from the start, because, well, because he would. Secondly, if you developed powers no one understood, it should feel like a body-horror story probably closer to FOX's poorly-received "The New Mutants" movie which had more of a horror-theme. Besides, if you want superheroes, jump into Ultimate Spider-Man or just wait for The Ultimates to be released (it's coming).

The Spectacular Spider-Men #1 - 4 by Greg Weisman

Keeping their identities secret and battling super-villains. Not a lot of people can relate to the trials and tribulations of superheroes. Luckily, Peter Parker and Miles Morales have each other to not only help save the day as Spider-Men, but also to hang out with as just friends with a unique bond. While the two simply want to hang-out as Parker and Morales once a week at a coffee shop, of course, life isn't always so simple for your friendly, neighborhood Spider-Men. When the two discover their fellow shop patrons not only acting strangely but also disappearing, the two will need to set-off together to solve this mystery.

I wasn't sure about picking-up this book, but I saw the shiny, foil variant cover sitting on the shelf, and just decided to see what it was about. It's a pretty fun read so far. I love seeing Parker and Morales play off of each other, not only in their tactics but their dialogue (just the bit about trying to figure out what to call each other was hilarious). As mentioned, the two end-up investigating the disappearance of fellow regulars at the coffee shop they frequent, and of course, get pulled into the trap: an illusion giving you whatever you desire most. That said, what I didn't expect was Parker's fantasy to be a life with Gwen Stacey, his first love interest killed off by the Green Goblin as I always expected his true love to be Mary-Jane Watson (perhaps because that's the one I'm just most use to seeing). The series is good so far, and as much as I was hesitant to pick it up, I'm glad I did.

Ghost Rider: Final Vengeance #1 - 4 by Benjamin Percy

 Having left the body of Johnny Blaze, the Spirit of Vengeance looks to take a new host, one more willing to utilize ALL of its powers unlike its former master. Thanks to a mystical ritual, the Spirit is called to Parker Robbins, aka The Hood. With his new powers, Robbins sets his sights upon the criminal underworld of Chicago, not to clean it up, but to claim it for himself. Can Blaze get back on his feet in time to regain his power and put a stop to Robbins' plan?

The One Hand #1 - 3 by Ram V and The Six Fingers #1 - 3 by  Dan Watters

Detective Ari Nassar is about to retire from the Neo Novena Police Department after a prestigious career which includes arresting The One-Hand Killer - twice. Gruesome murders famous for their severed body parts and unsolved, blood-painted ciphers always signed with a bloody handprint, Nassor managed to catch both killers whose motives remain unknown to this day. Unfortunately for Nassor, just as he is about to walk out the door for the last time, he catches wind of another murder committed in similar fashion - the killer had yet again returned. Back on the hunt, how many will die before Nassor once again catches this mysterious killer? And what other secrets will Nassor discover about Neo Novena before he is through?

Archeology student Johannas Vale is very much in control of his life. That control begins to unravel though after he commits a brutal murder using the M.O. of Neo Novena's most notorious serial killer, The One-Hand Killer. Having no memory of how he did it, Vale will set himself on a path to discover what buried impulses might drive a man to commit such an act - and if they may be urged upon the citizens by the city itself. At least, as long as he can stay a step ahead of the detective who caught the last two killers.

This was such a cool read so far The One Hand series following Detective Nassor as he tries to catch a new killer while in The Six Fingers series, Johannas Vale attempts to figure out why he is subconsciously committing these brutal acts while trying to not be caught. It's a cat-and-mouse game between two different, connected series. Besides the chase, both protagonists also find something possibly more sinister hiding within Neo Novena's foundations itself, as if the city may be more than it appears. The issues were also being released one week after another so the reader would see Detective Nassor gather clues in The One Hand, and the following week witness Vale on the run in The Six Fingers. It was really cool and an interesting way to tell stories using the comic-book medium. If you're a fan of murder-mysteries and don't mind violence and mutilation (body parts are severed and sculpted into artistic works) then I definitely recommend picking-up this series. Unfortunately, comics are expensive and it's harder to resell "floppies," so I opted to stop after these six issues to instead pick-up the collected edition whenever it is released (at least bookstores are more willing to buy collected versions for cash or preferably store credit).

 

Batman and Robin #8 - 10 by Joshua Williamson

 The ending to the Man-Bat arc! With Flatline in town, she and Robin team-up to stop her sister from selling an array of arms seized from various Gotham supervillains. Meanwhile, Batman and Shush team-up to stop Man-Bat from spreading a virus throughout Gotham. Damian discovers his former mentor as in fact infiltrated the high-school and is set on teaching him a lesson. Batman and Robin manage to not only stop Man-Bat's plan, but also safely trap the bats he was using to spread the virus. Their mission solved, the two enjoy a meal together as father and son, only to be interrupted by someone believed dead.

I'm really liking this series, especially the Bruce and Damian Wayne relationship - enough so, in fact, that I may actually go out to find more of the earlier issues such as the introduction of Damian Wayne/Robin. Of course, Batman and Robin take down Man-Bat and foil his plans, but what I was really surprised by was the reintroduction of Flatline. She was interesting to see in the "Lazarus Planet" event now being haunted by Ra's Al Ghul, and now reintroduced as a possible love interest for Damien, a boy not quite in touch with his feelings or understanding social norms. As I mentioned when I first started reading, what I really hoped to see were instances of how these heroes live their normal, everyday lives (what makes them people), included with the crime-fighting, and I'm happy to say we're still getting that. Issue 10 puts an end to the Man-Bat story arc and sets up a new villain - finding Bane on Dinosaur Island (who apparently killed Alfred? I should look into that).

The Outsiders #6 - 8 by Jackson Lanzing and Collin Kelly

The Outsiders true mission is revealed and the team sets out to discover what exactly is "reality". Instead, they discover a place where characters go to ... not die, but simply exist after they are erased. Not finding the people she lost, The Drummer finally reveals her true identity as Jakita Wagner of Planetary, an organization of archeologists dedicated to uncovering the world's secrets.. Oh, and she's also from another reality. Fed up, Kate Kane leaves The Outsiders only to be caught up in a curse which only her old team can solve - a cursed gun left behind by Jonah Hex.

Continuing with a much more meta romp through the comic universe, The Outsiders explore not only the place where characters go when they've been passed over by the comic book industry and even go through different versions of the DC universe caused by real-world mergers as well as crisis-storyline events - referencing real-world markets and popularity of characters. If you like these types of meta stories but without the Deadpool/She-Hulk 4th wall breaking shenanigans, then take a look at this one. Also, included is the return of the newest Century Baby, Jenny Crisis, so I'm curious to see if she might play a bigger part in DC's overarching plan for its comics (she's the embodiment of the century, after all). I'm really liking this new kind of superhero/archeology story as the team looks into the secrets of the DC universe, perhaps even looking for a way to stop another crisis event.

Deadpool #1 - 3 by Cody Ziglar

Deadpool is going back to what he knows best - killing a lot of people for money. Lost and heartbroken, he decides to open his very own mercenary-for-hire business, pulling in The Taskmaster to his team along with his own symbiote-dog, Princess. Their first job, however, is interrupted by "The Touch," a cult obsessed with death, and their leader, Death Grip, who has set his sights on finally killing the unkillable mercenary. While Wade goes off to deal with Death Grip, he'll entrust his daughter's safety (and training) to Taskmaster.

Obviously, I picked this up because of the movie hype, but also because I've never read a Deadpool comic. The first issue definitely satisfied what I was looking for - violence and blood, fourth-wall breaks, and jokes (I was not expecting the "Chainsaw Man" reference in the first issue).

After all that though, the next book kinda fell flat. I mean, how do you keep the stakes high when you can't be killed? If they had introduced the Muramasa Blade and its fusion with Death Grip a little earlier (maybe cut out the whole "starting a mercenary business" plot), I think it would've maintained my interest more. Honestly, halfway through the third issue, I thought I might stop reading as the story wasn't quite maintaining my interest. However, after seeing The Taskmaster taking on Deadpool's daughter as his protege and rumors that she might become the new Deadpool (if Marvel does kill his character), well, now I'm a little curious to see how the rest of the story goes. That said, there's no way Marvel is killing off such a huge character, ie moneymaker, so who knows what they'll do at the end of this story.

John Constantine Hellblazer: Dead in America #4 - 6 by Simon Spurrier

Continuing his group's trek across America on his way to find Dream's missing sand, they arrive in a town to assist in Swamp Thing's resurrection. With the land barren however, they'll need to uncover the town's hidden secret to not only begin its healing but also to bring Swamp Thing back. They'll continue to meet with others along the road procuring more tales/stories from people in America. Eventually, the trio hunting Constantine makes themselves known to him when they attempt to stop his journey.

Still on his journey but with a new objective, John Constantine and company continue their trek across America. Honestly, in regards to the plot, I don't really care about that part anymore. What I really like about this series so far has been Constantine's journey and his critique on America has he travels its roads and meets its people. It could also be the time between the issue release dates (and the amount of comics I'm reading) that I'm forgetting what exactly happened. He'll meet with people trying to hide a secret held by an entire town just to keep up the appearance. He'll meet with myths and legends, both native to the land but also those considered "invasive" by the false narratives which have taken hold in its people.

Actually, overall, my draw to this series has been those one-off adventures, the unique and interesting individuals Constantine meets which make the story feel alive and new. Each of them, in their own way, could be viewed as a snapshot of America - who are its people, what is its history, etc. I've got no plans to stop collecting the individual issues, though, if I had another chance, I think it would've made a better read as a trade paperback as reading the story over a few days might make for a better read than what I'm doing now.

Carnage #6 - 8 (complete) by Toruun Gronbeck and Venom #32 by Al Ewing

Having (possibly) eliminated his former host, Carnage spring his trap on Flash Thompson and the Anti-Venom symbiote to take them both off of the board. To attain godhood though, Carnage will have to kill a god. With the King in Black, Eddie Brock in hiding, Carnage will need something to lure him out into the open. Luckily, he's found the perfect bait - Eddie's son and the current Venom host, Dylan Brock! But, with a war coming, Carnage will need weapons, one perfectly suited to his goals.

Concluding this latest arc and helping lead into The Venom War event, Carnage has put his nemesis, Flash Thompson and Anti-Venom on the ropes, as well as collected an assortment of followers. Umm, honestly, I think I jumped into this series too quickly without knowing not only the current history of the Carnage symbiote (I'm still confused by its split with Cletus Kasady) but also Venom and the King in Black event (which I heard was pretty good), because I've realized that as much as I love the Carnage character, I don't really care about this current iteration. I loved the "Maximum Carnage" event as Spider-Man attempted to find a non-lethal approach to stopping a villain who is beyond redemption. Maybe it is that I just don't like this godhood-obsessed Carnage vs the serial-killer I remember him being. I think for now I'm going to stop at this point and maybe I'll pick it up later. Note: I'm still looking to score an "Amazing Spider-man #361 - the first appearance of Carnage (plus, have you seen that cover!).

The Displaced #1 - 3 by Ed Brisson

When a sinkhole devours an entire town, the survivors are left to pick-up the pieces of their lives. They are left further distraught when the sinkhole hot only disappears, but everyone outside the town appears to have forgotten entirely about the town and the people who once lived there. As the survivors try to simply stay alive in a world that has forgotten about them, they also learn they must stick close-by each other lest they risk simply vanishing from existence as well. Will the survivors find a way to make the world remember them again? And, is there a chance the people who were lost to the sinkhole are still alive?

This was such an interesting concept, I had to pick it up despite trying to cut down on how many comics I was buying weekly (this is getting out of hand). So far, the first three issues have been full of science-fiction greatness. The idea of the world simply forgetting about a group of people who could vanish at anytime if left alone. That all said, I think I'm going to stop collecting these as individual issues and instead buy the collected trade paperback when it is eventually released. It's not that I don't enjoy the story thus far, but I read a way to save some money is by going the trade paperback route, which I can buy easier used and also sell easier than individual issues.

Books of 2024: Quarter 2 (books)

Books and comics from the last three months (I spent way too long trying to figure out how to layer images before giving up).

Chosen Ones by Veronica Roth

A decade ago, a government agency assembled five teenagers in the hopes that one might turn out to be the prophesied "Chosen One" in order to stop the supernatural destruction caused by a man branded "The Dark One." Trained in basic tactics and given their own magical artifacts, the rag-tag team defeated the villain and put the world on track to getting back to normal. Except, some things can't ever go back to the way they were. Now, ten years later, Sloane is still dealing with the trauma of The Dark One's violence and terror. Except, The Dark One might not be as gone as they'd hoped. Kidnapped by another, alternate Earth, the group is forced to defeat this world's Dark One before they can be sent home - a Dark One who has already defeated this world's Chosen One.

The story follows Sloane and the other four "Chosen Ones" in the aftermath of defeating their Big Bad Guy where they are pulled into yet another battle. The first third to half of the novel is spent focused on Sloane's mental health and trauma as she is still recovering ten years later from the battle with The Dark One, and the choices she made and the actions she took to win the battle. At the same time, she's also learning about the government program that grouped the five teens together along with the information the government gathered on not only The Dark One and magic (an entirely new concept on Earth), but on the kids themselves. The story then shifts when three of them are summoned/kidnapped by magic-users from a parallel Earth (you watch Marvel movies, I shouldn't have to explain "Multiverse" to anyone) to fight their version of The Dark One. The trio will need to learn not only how to access this world's magic system to fight against this new Big Bad Guy, but also learn who he really is and how they are connected with Sloane's own world. It's the ending that I thought was really interesting and set-up a whole new world that would be an interesting setting to see a story be set in.

So, let me just talk about that isekai twist. Based on the book cover blurb, I was expecting the story to focus on the aftermath of defeating the prophesied enemy and the trauma that follows the characters, and what was to happen to the characters when the bad guy comes back to haunt them again. I definitely did not expect, nor get the impression, this story would turn into a portal-quest story. That it wasn't introduced either until a third of the way into the story threw me off only because these kinds of switches typically happen much earlier (like episode one of a series). I guess, because I wasn't expecting the twist, that kinda took me out of the story for a bit.

Surprisingly, with all of the books on my To Read list and all of the Book Recommendation Lists the algorithm gives me on an almost daily basis, this book wasn't even on my radar when I happened across it at Skull-face Books. Sounding interesting enough (a story about the aftermath of defeating The Dark One, most stories don't get that far) - and to use up the last of my store credit from selling off other books - I decided it might be worth checking out. Unfortunately, it then sat in a box with other books for months waiting to be read as I got bogged down not only with other reading, but I also didn't have much time to read. What surprised me the most about this book was that it was written by the same author who wrote The Divergent Series (which I know of from snippets of the movies I've seen). Now, I've never read any of the books, so I can't compare it to that series. I'm actually thinking about other Young Adult (YA) novels I've read, such as "The Hunger Games," "I am Number Four," "Scythe," and The Harry Potter series. Though at times this book might feel like a YA novel, it definitely feels more adult in other aspects. For one, though YA novels do feature traumatic events happening to teenagers and young adult age characters, rarely do they go beyond the events, since the story itself is only focused on that particular event and not the aftermath. Sure, both "Mockingjay" and "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" both feature an epilogue scene, we still don't get a full view of the trauma these characters may still be suffering through into their adult years. A similar aspect to other YA novels I've read is the action, particularly the combat scenes. Other Adult novels tend to get a bit more graphic in their depictions of fighting and death making the scenes standout from the rest of the story. YA novels tend not to get too graphic, perhaps quick shot of blood or pain, but nothing that the writer would linger too much on.

Nettle and Bone by T. Kingfisher

 

The third daughter of a small kingdom, Marra is spared the fate of most princesses when she is sent away to a convent. Sheltered from the world, she learns her sisters are not so lucky - one killed by her husband's rage and the other currently punished by it until she can produce a male heir. When Marra realizes a hero isn't coming to save her sister, she sets off on a quest to kill the prince herself. To do so, she'll seek out a dust-wife, one who communes with the dead, for help, who promises her aid if Marra can complete three impossible tasks. As Marra soon learns, these tasks are only the beginning of a strange journey to rescue her sister.

A re-imagining of the traditional fairytale, this is the story of a princess on a quest to kill the price abusing her sister. What is really great about this book is that it is simply a fun read. The characters aren't simply stale, one-dimensional figures but each with a hidden layer; the plot is simple but filled with enough twists to keep the reader wondering how Marra will accomplish her goal; and the pacing flowed really well, especially considering the sections of backstory reading to be presented through the first third of the book. Though the story blurb promises the traditional "three tasks," these are actually completed rather quickly and serve no purpose except to show Marra's resolve in completing her goal. Instead, the main focus becomes putting together the items she'll need to accomplish her goal, including gathering comrades and information and devising a plan. This theme of "things aren't quite what they appear to be" also applies to the characters, each of them showing they aren't simply who they were when introduced. Examples such as the soldier Fenris who you believe is simply a killer until he reveals why he did what he did; and Marra's own godmother who only bestows the most basic of blessings and appears to be a fraud until her origins are revealed and you find her specialty is actually in applying curses. It's a fun read that asks the reader to make it to the very end to learn the truth hidden behind what is simply on the surface.

Since reading the "Fables" comic series a decade ago, I've been a fan of these "re-imagining traditional fairytales" stories. And, like many other books, it's been sitting on my To Read list for awhile until I got around to selling some books off to Skull-face, and I found this on their shelves. Then, like other books, it sat, waiting to be read.

What If by Randall Munroe

 What if a pitcher threw a ball at the speed of light? What if everyone on the planet were gathered into the same spot on the planet, and jumped? What if you gathered every element on the periodic table, and used them to create the table itself? What if you isolated everyone on the planet for two weeks in an attempt to eliminate the common cold? These and other absurd hypothetical questions were poised to Randall Munroe, a former NASA employee and creator of the "XKCD" web-comic, who collected a variety of them along with his researched answers and witty stick-figure cartoons to publish into a book. If you're ready to learn and laugh, this is a must read.

I honestly forgot where I first heard about this web-comic (maybe Facebook?) but the response he gave to the attempt to bat a baseball traveling at the speed of light was incredible. So, when I heard he'd printed a bunch of these into a book I added it to my "To Read" list. Unfortunately, I've only ever seen the book for sale in hardcover, and I really didn't want to pay full-price for it. Yes, I know, I could just read the web-comic, but, you know, I prefer books. Well, it just so happened as I was wandering the Book-Off shelves, I spotted this copy for $5, which is incredible, so of course I picked it up.

As it should be noted, I'm a fucking idiot when it comes to the sciences (and most things, really), so to say I understood everything presented in this book would be an obvious lie. He does dumb down a lot of the science for folks like me to understand. And, if you still don't get it (like I did some of the time), well, then just laugh along with the jokes and stick-figure drawings. That all said, of course, I had my favorites:
1. Throwing a pitch at the speed of light decimating the park.

 

2. Everyone on the planet jumping in the same place (which does nothing), but the results of getting billions of people into the same place having terrifying results.
3. Not being able to eliminate the common cold (or really any virus) through isolation as well as the consequences it could have on a nation's economy (this book was published in 2014).

Monsters & Creatures (Dungeons and Dragons): A Young Adventurer's Guide by Jim Zub, Stacy King, and Andrew Wheeler

A simple and direct guidebook on some of the most popular monsters and creatures populating the world of Dungeons & Dragons. Sorting them by commonly explored regions such as caves or forests, this guide provides a quick overview of typical creature behavior and abilities, including some helpful do's and don't's for adventurers who may encounter them. If you're looking for a little more of a challenge than the average monster, the book also provides a couple legendary Monsters such as a Demigorgan and Count Strahd, the vampire. There is also several example encounters asking an adventurer what their next choice may be when encountering one of these creatures in the game. At the very back is a short, helpful guide on how to utilize the monsters provided and others found throughout the rest of the published D&D material to populate your game and tell your story.

I got this book a while back from a friend I'm playing D&D with who happened to pick-up several copies while on vacation. It was a pretty quick read, only a hundred pages or so. Despite being a brief read, it did take me a while to get to it as, honestly, it's a "flavor" book, providing additional context on a sample of creatures found in D&D. Unlike other sourcebooks, it doesn't provide stat blocks or the dice rolls required to calculate Hit Points or Attack Rolls or Experience Points gained for defeating the creature - you know, the stuff needed to build combat encounters which I think I focus too much on instead of building a story (yeah, I should work on balancing that). I did enjoy the sections of the book describing particular scenarios and asking what a Player Character might do in that situation, whether it be a unicorn deeming a flawed character worthy, or being lured into a trap by a vampire. These nice, short "what-if" sections let me get into the mind of several unplayed/untested Player Character builds I've got sitting in the D&D Beyond app, and see how they might react, giving me a better understanding of the character to roleplay in an actual game (I should really go looking for an actual game).

Marvel Zombies: The Complete Collection by Mark Millar and Robert Kirkman

Opening with Mark Millar's "Ultimate Fantastic Four" issues #21-23, Reed Richards is tricked into opening a portal between the Ultimate Universe and another universe where a zombie virus has infected the entirety of the superhuman community by the world's zombified Reed Richards. Richards finds himself trapped and on the run from ravenous super-powered zombies in a world almost depleted of living humans. At the same time, the zombie-Fantastic Four make their way to the Ultimate Universe to spread the virus, where they are stopped by the rest of the Ultimate Fantastic Four. Reed - and a few other survivors - are rescued and returned to the Ultimate Universe.

Back in the real world, while Millar is writing this story, someone reached out to Robert Kirkman, writer of "The Walking Dead" and asked if he'd like to do a zombie story using this new universe. Told to write it however he wished, Kirkman delivered a graphic, grotesque zombie script before remembering it was for Marvel Comics - but they loved it and told him to keep going. What we got was a five-issue run of "Marvel Zombies" telling the story of a zombified Marvel universe where a virus turns superhumans into ravenous zombies who consume not only each other but the majority of the human population. "Marvel Zombies" #1 picks up right where "Ultimate Fantastic Four" #23 left off as the zombified heroes devour Magneto, then set off in search of food. As they contemplate their existence with full bellies, The Silver Surfer glides past, surveying the Earth for his master's arrival, Galactus. With news of Galactus's arrival, the zombies respond in true zombie fashion, by eating the Surfer. Utilizing the combined knowledge of Hank Pym (Ant-Man), Bruce Banner (The Hulk), and Tony Stark (Iron Man), the zombies create a device allowing them to fight back and defeat Galactus, consuming the Planet-Eater soon after. In the end, guided by hunger and fueled by the power gained from eating Galactus, the zombies leave Earth in search of other planets to devour.

Jumping back into the Ultimate Universe in "Ultimate Fantastic Four" #30 - 32, Reed Richards devises a plan to send the zombie Fantastic Four back to their own universe, a task made even more urgent when Zombie Richards informs them he has already devised his own escape plan. Finding Johnny Storm infected with an extra-terrestrial parasite commonly found in Lovecraftian-horror, Richards turns to Dr. Doom for help. At the Baxter Building, the zombies escape and devour everyone as the search for Richards' laboratory in hopes of bringing more of their kin to this new universe. Thanks to a body-swap deal, Richards utilizes all of Dr. Doom's power, knowledge, and abilities to dispatch the zombies with ease as well as remove the parasite from Storm. Doom acknowledges his failures and not only returns Richards to his own body, but takes the parasite and the zombies back to their own universe, sacrificing himself in the process.

What follows are a couple more short issues involving the zombies, including how it first spread, but nothing I was too invested in reading. What I really liked seeing were the different zombie-variant covers created for other comics, usually paying tribute to some iconic Marvel covers. As I'm now starting to fall into this "collecting comic books" phase (I'm seeing the appeal of comic books not just as "stories with pictures" but "art with stories) I even took the time to note several popular ones I might like to collect later besides just the original "Marvel Zombies" #1 - 5 issues, such as one featuring zombie-Captain America punching the head off of a zombie-Hitler, and a "Secret Wars #1" homage with zombified superheroes charging the cover.

This was a pretty fun read, the idea of zombies in a world with superheroes. I think a friend once told me about it over a decade ago, then, I saw it partially-animated in Marvel's "What-If" series on Disney+. I remembered about it again when Amazon ran their "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" sale on graphic novels, so I finally added it to my cart. Honestly, I was a little concerned about the zombies still retaining their human consciousness (as that's not how that usually works), but since Kirkman was writing the zombies as the main characters, it just wouldn't be ... right for a reader to simply watch the lives of a bunch of mindless zombies (that's jut boring). Seeing their guilt over the things they'd done, complaining about body parts falling off despite their near-immortality, how the hunger overtakes them and turns them into monsters - that is what made me connect with the series and care if they could devise a plan to defeat and dine on Galactus. That they would then use their new power to leave the planet in search of food, well, that's just a great ending.

The Last Ronin by Tom Waltz, Kevin Eastman, and Peter Laird

The last of the Turtles sneaks his way into a city controlled by The Foot on a quest for revenge. His target: Oroku Hirota, the grandson of the legendary Shredder. With the city locked down and patrolled by not only soldiers but mechanized troops, he'll need every bit of training and knowledge, as well as the tools of his brothers and the help of a former ally and some new ones to accomplish his goal. Haunted by his past, the big question remains - who is the Last Ronin?

Obviously, anyone who grew-up watching The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon (god, I'm old) should've heard about this graphic novel. I'd even heard it described as one of the greatest TMNT stories ever written. Of course, a lot of places carry this book, but I'd been hesitant to buy it as most places only carry the hardcover version, and I'd never looked too much into reading other TMNT comics. Then, (as I mentioned before), Amazon ran their "Buy 2, Get 1 free" sale, so I finally decided to pick this one up and give it a read. And, I know, I've said it before about hardcovers, but as cumbersome as it is to carry around, it does feel great to hold in my hands.

Having never read any of the other TMNT comics, I really didn't know what to expect besides what I'd heard though I did my best to avoid spoilers (especially who the Last Ronin was). I liked the character being haunted by ghosts/voices of his deceased brothers as he makes his way into the city to assassinate the new Foot Leader. Of course, the story brings back some notable characters such as April O'Neil, and introduces some new ones such as Casey Marie Jones, the daughter of April and Casey Jones. Standing apart from the other TMNT comic storylines, as long as you know the basics the story is easy to jump into. "The Last Ronin" delves deeper into the feud between the two clans and what ultimately drove [redacted] into hiding. The ending also sets-up a cool new start to this dark, gritty TMNT universe with [redacted] perhaps filling the role of Splinter.

What confused me the most was trying to figure out HOW The Foot Clan took over New York City. I guess, as long as the reader can get passed that idea (in, I guess the same way a gang of supervillains could take over a major US city without the US government getting involved) then the rest is a fun ride. And, I guess since I'm on the subject, I do want to admit, I just found the story "okay." I've read enough "gritty" re-imaginings at this point in my life to guess from the onset just who the Last Ronin might be (I was 90% certain), so the reveal wasn't too surprising when it happened. And, I guess, since I'm not really invested in the TMNT universe, the stakes weren't enough to really pull me into the story and make me care. That all said, it was a fun, five-issue read, but I'm glad I got it on sale.

Y: The Last Man (Deluxe Editions #3 - 5) by Brian K. Vaughn and Pia Guerra

Book Three
Yorick and his partners finally make it across the country to Dr. Mann's laboratory in California to begin her research into not only HOW Yorick and Ampersand survived whatever it was that killed off every other creature with a Y-chromosome, but to see if she can replicate it to bring the males back into the world. At the same time, Hero undergoes a deprogramming to rid her of the Amazonians influence, setting her on a journey retracing her brother's path until their eventual reunion. Just as Dr. Mann makes a breakthrough in her research, Ampersand is taken by a mysterious new enemy - one possibly connected to Dr. Mann's past. The team boards a ship to Australia to not only catch-up with Ampersand's kidnapper but also with the hopes of finding Beth, Yorick's girlfriend.

Book Four
Rescued by the Australian Navy, Yorick and Agent 355 set off to find Beth before their boat leaves the next morning. Instead, they discover Beth had already set off to Paris in the hopes of locating Yorick, who she still believes to be alive. At the same time, Yorick is photographed by a tabloid reporter, his naked picture soon to be spread to the masses. Meanwhile, Hero discovers a very-much pregnant Beth, the woman Yorick slept with months ago, still in her church. After a brief encounter with members of the Vatican tracking leads of an "immaculate conception," Hero and Beth travel to the Hot Suite, home of the rescued astronaut and her baby boy. Their safety is short-lived however once Alter and the Israeli force she leads to secure the world's last man attack the bunker. Back on Ampersand's trail, Yorick and the others arrive in Japan where Yorick and Agent 355 locate him in a yakuza hideout. Dr. Mann and her new girlfriend, Rose, locate Dr. Mann's mother's laboratory and her mother only to see her kidnapped by a rival scientist. The team will need to trek to China for their answers.

Book Five
Yorick and his group arrive in China to only rescue Dr. Mann's mother, but to also finally get the answers they've been searching for - what caused the plague which killed everything with a Y-chromosome, and what can be done to reverse it. The one holding the answers, they find, is Dr. Mann's own father, having stayed safe from the plague thanks to his cloning research and experiments - the same one which he believes to have caused the plague. He explains a theory that all living things are actually connected on a genetic level, sharing a sort-of collective consciousness. Once he managed to clone a baby girl (a clone of his daughter, Dr. Mann), he believed that consciousness decided the Y-chromosome to be obsolete, and thus killed them all off. After eliminating Dr. Mann's father and leaving Dr. Mann to continue his research, Yorick and Agent 355 leave to Paris in search of Beth. Meanwhile, Hero's group have also arrived in Europe having escaped the Israeli attack. The book also goes into other survivors' accounts of how they've been dealing with what may be the end of the plague times. We revisit Waverly, the supermodel-turned-corpse-retriever, as she not only puts together a funeral for Yorick's mother but also finds her place in this new world. Cayce and Hennrietta of the Fish-and-Bicycle playwrights also make an appearance, looking for a new medium to tell stories, turning to comics. After a brief reunion, Beth reveals to Yorick a truth he suspected - that she had planned to break-up with him at the start of the plague. Yorick rushes back to Agent 355 to tell her the secret he's been hiding from everyone - that he has been in love with her for a long time. It is then that Alter catches-up with him, assassinating Agent 355, and setting out to capture Yorick. Instead, Yorick turns the tables and subdues Alter, realizing then her goal was never about capturing him for Israel but to have him kill her as what she truly desires is death at the hands of a man. The story jumps sixty-years into the future as the world recovers. Men are slowly being introduced back into society through Dr. Mann's cloning research. Yorick, now imprisoned due to a suicide attempt, recounts the last years of his life only to distract his lone chaperone long enough to make his final, daring escape.

So, I finally got around to the final volumes of "Y: The Last Man." As it was a series I wasn't planning on holding and simply wanted to read, I wasn't in a big rush to buy it, and definitely didn't want to buy it new. Luckily, I found used copies at a Book-Off for $8 each, saving almost $40 (books are expensive). Hopefully, since they're in decent condition, I can re-sell them for store credit for my next batch of books (side note: they didn't sell that high).

Overall, I liked the series, running through these last three deluxe volumes in less than a week. Maybe it was just because I watched the one and only season of "Y: The Last Man" that I felt the pacing of the first volume was slow, but the rest moved very well. I really liked the story took the time to look at the lives of a couple other side characters just to remind the reader there is more to the world than simply the Last Man (and to add to the finale's suspense). Also, despite my dislike for stories involving multiple locations, it works much better in the comic genre than in novel form. Novels tend to need to waste time describing the setting each time we move to a different place. In a comic, it is simply shown by a change in background and the reader knows we're someplace else.

Let's talk about the "How" of it all - "How did all the men die?" Of course, the idea of everything with a Y-chromosome simply dying is absurd (at least, I think, but I'm also an idiot). Still though, I expected the answer to be a virus or chemical agent or something similar. I didn't expect it to rely on the concept of "collective unconsciousness" as if the world unconsciously decided men were no longer necessary. I mean, I understand (I think) the concept and how it applies to the story ... I just didn't like it. I know, right, the one thing I was waiting to discover this entire time and I didn't care for it. What it did make me realize, though, is despite this reveal and after overcoming my own dissatisfaction, was that it didn't matter how it happened at all (or even why). What mattered was what humanity would do now. I enjoyed the story continuing long after that discovery, seeing not just Yorick striving to be happy, but also the world moving forward.
 

Plush Trade Paperback (collecting issues #1 - 6) written by Doug Wagner, art by Daniel Hillyard and Rico Renzi

Devin's life is falling apart as his parents are still pressuring him to marry his cheating fiance who is also pregnant with another man's child, and though he knows he shouldn't, he still feels inclined to do so. Simply seeking to help him unwind, his friend brings him along to a furry convention. There, Devin witnesses an act of brutal cannibalism as a costumed trio devour another costumed attendee. Devin winds up catching the eye of one in particular, and is pulled into their group. What follows is a night of blood, death, and even love as the group fights off the local police force led by Devin's fiancee's father and ex-boyfriend.

What an insane and bloody ride this was. If you've been following along since I started putting not only graphic novels but comic book issues on this review list (if you have ... stop), you might remember seeing "Plush" issues #1 - 4 a long, long time ago. Unfortunately, back then, the two shops I've been frequenting both stopped bringing in the later issues so I never got around to finishing the series ... until now. Side note: this does typically happen with smaller publishers (i.e. anyone not Marvel or DC), so I'm not too surprised though I was sad since at the time I was just one more issue away from completing the series. Then, Amazon had a "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" sale on select graphic novels, and so here we are.

I'm so happy I finally got to read the final chapters of the story in all its gory goodness. The violence and slaughter didn't disappoint, as Devin and the cannibal furries battle against the police force coming to kill them. What really surprised me about the ending was the romantic pairing between Devin and one of the cannibals. Though that is what saves his life, I really didn't expect the two to fall in love. In the back of the book is also a gallery of the different covers and ... because I'm starting to get into comic collecting ... I really want to pick-up some of these individual issues for nothing more than their covers.

well, damn, that ran a lot longer than I thought it would. I'm going to put the comic write-ups into a separate post for people to ignore.