Drunken Hunt

Guided by a pair of flashlights and the slight buzz of inebriation, Agents Talon and Pike walked through the ankle deep water and sludge of the city’s sewer system, guns at the ready. With no sign of their target, Talon stopped to take another swig of gin and tonic from his flask. “Maybe we’re doing this all wrong,” he said, looking at the half-empty flask and hoping it wasn’t just the alcohol talking. Talon finished the flask, tossing it aside and pulling out another full one. “We know it only hunts drunks, and only drunks can see it.” He emptied the flask into his mouth, gulping down another gin and tonic in a matter of seconds. He did the same with a third and fourth flask.

“So your plan now is to become drunken bait?” Pike said, shaking his head. He looked at the empty flasks lying on the sewer floor. “Well, we can’t go back now. Just remember you still need enough motor functions to pull that trigger. This isn’t a problem you can solve just by punching it in the face.” Pike moved up the tunnel and around the corner where he could wait and still keep an eye on Talon.

After another twenty minutes of nothing, Pike headed back down the tunnel. “Are you feeling okay?” he asked, eyeing the slight wobble Talon acquired in his stance. 

"It’s weird,” Talon said, spinning in a slow circle as he spoke, “I don’t feel drunk, but I feel like I can feel something watching, but I don’t feel drunk." 

“Hey!” Pike shouted as he ducked under Talon’s raised gun before grabbing him. “Not that drunk, huh? Maybe you should give me a couple of those flasks, in case this goes sideways.” 

It was at that moment that Talon sensed it: an extra pair of eyes upon his back, the presence of another living creature, somewhere unseen but known. He spun and landed hard on his backside, flashlight and gun both flailing wildly. Bang! barked his gun as it slipped from his hand and sunk in the dark waters. “It’s here, I know it’s here, I can feel it,” Talon stammered, his hand splashing, searching for his gun. He tried to get back to his feet, and instead succeeded in flopping over and getting a mouthful of sewage. 

Still on his feet, Pike continued to turn in slow circles as his flashlight was the only thing keeping whatever hid in the darkness at bay. “Where is it? I can’t see it,” he said. 

That’s when Talon heard the sound of a third set of footsteps stalking behind them, the sloshing strides of feet moving in the water but never breaking the surface. “It’s here, it’s got to be right on top of us!” he shouted as he tried desperately to pick himself up off the ground.

            

That’s when he felt the fingers, claws, grip his coat and drag him several feet down the tunnel before tossing him into the brick wall. He blinked several times and in the dark he saw a blurred, shadowy outline looming over him. Even in his current state, he still couldn’t get a clear view of the monster. Luckily he had one last trick. He reached behind his back to grab his final flask, a gin and tonic cocktail that was basically just gin with a drop or two of tonic water. He drank as quickly as he could and almost instantly felt the alcohol go to work on his senses.

The monster appeared before him: a fat, albino creature with dark red stains of dried blood covering its skin. It was almost human-like, standing at just over four feet tall with two odd-shaped legs and elongated arms. It definitely didn’t look like a creature built for speed but with Talon almost incapacitated and against a wall, the monster didn’t need to be fast.

“My name is Agent Richard Talon from The Hunter Agency. You are under arrest and ordered to surrender,” Talon tried to say, though, the only words he was certain he said were “Agency” and “arrest.” Based on the look on the monster’s face, it also looked like those were the only words it understood as well as it reared back its right arm and punched Talon hard in the face. Talon was sure the punch was supposed to feel like a hammer coming down on his cheek, but, with the amount he’d drunk that night, it felt more like a polite knock. Talon laughed as the monster hit again, this time in his ribs.

The monster roared in frustration, but before it could attack, Talon regained the functions of his hands and arms. He reached out and grabbed the monster’s neck with one hand and delivered a vicious blow with the other. And another blow. And another blow. The creature staggered slightly, but his punches wouldn’t be enough to bring the monster down before it could kill him. Unfortunately, Pike was the only one with a gun, but even he couldn’t shoot what he couldn’t see.

He punched once more before he heard a shout come from up the tunnel, followed by a deafening bang. The monster’s head jerked once, unnatural liquid spraying from its skull as it fell to the sewer floor. The next thing Talon heard were the sloshing steps of Pike running in the darkness.

“How did you make that shot?” Talon asked, his eyes moving from Pike to the carcass lying on the floor.

Pike smiled and motioned to Talon’s fists. “I told you, you punch things in the face as if it solves all your problems. I just aimed at the empty air where you were punching.”

Talon pulled out another flask and took a swig. He felt his head tilt back against the cool brick wall and his eyes close. “Just another day at the office,” he heard himself say as he thought about the massive hangover awaiting him the next morning.

This was actually an entry into a writing contest I entered earlier this year. A short, short fiction contest, all the contestants are split into groups and each group is assigned certain parameters to follow in addition to a limit of 1000 words. For my group, it was just 3 things: 1. Theme: Thriller; 2. Setting: A sewer; and 3. An object: a gin and tonic cocktail. When the results came in, I got zero points within my grouping (meaning I won't be moving on to round two) but I did get some interesting feed back. The judges really liked the idea of needing to be drunk to hunt a monster. They also suggested that something more should go wrong (to increase tension). I think if I had a higher word count (or better editing skills) I probably would've done more with the idea, perhaps prolonging the hunt in some way, maybe a chase rather than the monster just appearing. Surprisingly, they also liked the interaction between Talon and Pike, even wanting more of it. This is surprising mostly because, to me, my weakness is in writing character. I've always thought I was better at writing scenes than dialogue and character development. Not that I'm better at writing action, just that I suck at those other things. My only guess is that it's been from all the practice at writing these short stories and these different characters, trying to make them appealing for a one-shot story rather than building them up through multiple entries. This story though may be one of the first ones that I liked enough that I think I may actually use the advice and try to get around to making longer and sending it off somewhere for publishing (and hopefully money).