"Happy Birthday [insert name here]!"

Because just saying “Happy Birthday [insert name here]!” never sounds like enough. What I mean to say is that, well, of course I’d be wishing you a Happy Birthday. It’s not like anyone would wish you bad things on such a special day (though how would I know what kind of enemies you’ve made after all these years?). Saying “Happy Birthday” just seems like something everyone says, or at least the other 379 friends who wish you the same thing do. It doesn’t seem personal enough, especially when it takes a notice from Facebook to remind me that you still exist, let alone that it’s also your birthday.

So why can’t I just take the five seconds to write the same post everyone else wrote and be happy with it? I guess it's because the only present I can give you is in words and so I want it to mean something, especially since I’m doing it through Facebook means that we are either too far apart to say it in person or else I’m too cheap to actually buy you a present. I assume at this point in your Facebook career you pretty much just scroll through your birthday messages until you finally see one longer than three words and a clever little emoticon or one of those semi-colon faces (which I’m assuming is the only reason the semi-colon is still relevant in today’s society). But to muster up something witty or heartfelt that would actually brighten your day for just a single, brief, fleeting second before you click “Like” and continue scrolling – that’s what I really do try to aim for.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know you as well as I should or as well as I want to. Or maybe we haven’t seen each other for such a long time that I’m not sure what’s appropriate to write anymore (“turning 21 – round 5” or “Fuck Adulthood” seems inappropriate now that a lot of people I know are looking for new jobs and would very much not like their co-workers or bosses see that kind of crap on their Facebook page).

Maybe it’s just because I’m so used to writing now that to provide a mere three words for such an important occasion makes me feel lazy to the point that it’s almost unprofessional. So for everyone who feels cheated when they receive just those three meager words on their wall to add to the dozens, if not hundreds, of the exact same thing, I really mean to say more but … ah, fuck it – its your fucking birthday so make your fucking wish, eat your fucking cake and have a fucking good time dammit!

full permission for anyone to use when they want to say more but can’t seem to find the words