Game Over

Game Over. Final Score: 37,584 pts.

Huh, that's odd, I thought as I looked into the darkness. I thought when people died, they were supposed to see a bright light. Well at least it wasn't completely dark, I thought as I stared again at the words in front of my face. Game Over, what the hell could it mean? And why did that score look so familiar? "Does this mean that it was all just a game?" I said aloud to no one. I got up and the words moved from right in front of my face to just barely noticeable at the top right of my vision. Wherever I looked those words would hang there. Game Over. Final Score: 37,584 pts. And still I had no idea what it meant. Or what it was about the score that looked so familiar.

Suddenly, there was a blinding flash. When my eyes finally recovered, I saw that it wasn't just me here... wherever I was supposed to be. Instead, there was thousands, maybe even tens of thousands. People spread out across a white room that seemed to stretch out forever. It was actually amazing I didn't manage to bump into anyone as I was wandering in the darkness.

As I turned to survey the landscape, my eyes naturally focused on one man just a short walk away. A man in a white robe and long hair, sandals on his feet. An aura radiated from him, one of warmth and peace.

"Hello," he said, spreading his arms wide to welcome all of us, "Welcome my brothers and sisters. I am - "

"Dude, are you fucking Jesus Christ!" shouted a man next to me. I elbowed him in the ribs, hoping that I could get at least one extra point for prodding anyone who interrupted Jesus.

The man scratched the back of his head, clearly embarrassed by the sudden outburst. "Yes, as I was saying. I am Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, and welcome to my kingdom," he said.

"When do we restart?," another man shouted several feet away. A murmur went up all around us as everyone else who felt the same way made their voices heard as well.

Jesus turned in a circle, slowly as if to take in everyone around him. "Um, you don't. You all died. There is no going back." He chuckled slightly to himself. "Don't you think if it were so easy to just restart, more people would've already done it?"

"Then why give us a Game Over screen if there is no way to restart?!" someone shouted from the other side of the room. The crowd erupted again.

At that point, Jesus just smiled and shrugged. "Honestly, I thought I was being clever. You see, the truth is we decided long ago to hold off Judgement for everyone until The End. So basically everyone who has ever died needed someplace to wait until it was all over. Kind of like a holding pen. We decided it would be more comfortable if you spent the time someplace ... familiar. Those who spent a lot of time in church get to wait outside some giant gates. Alcoholics spent it in a bar. Workaholics spent the time working. I was actually the one who thought up the idea of giving those who spent so much of their lives in these video games the Game Over screen."

Everyone stood silent, stunned. I had no idea what everyone else was thinking, but I know my inner voice was screaming. We hadn't been judged yet! I thought, I thought I had made it, but there was still a chance to be tortured for the rest of eternity. Did the points have anything to do with this? Did I have enough to get me in?

After a couple of seconds, Jesus clapped his hands together. "Well, let's have everyone line up now for judgment." Unsteadily, everyone began to form into something like a line in front of Jesus. One by one, someone would step forward and the two of them would speak for a bit before the judged moved forward and disappeared, to where though I have no idea.

And, step by step I moved closer and closer, still trying to figure out what it was about my final score that would decide where I go. My final score, I thought, it's got to be from a video game I've played. Think, think. And then it came to me. It was the last score I had on ____! That's basically the average! I've got to get in based on that score. I let out a breath of relief.

The man who first interrupted Jesus's welcoming speech stepped forward. They spoke for a minute before the man became animated, waving his arms in the air and stomping his feet. "But I've got over 700,00 points! What do you mean I can't get in?!" This went on for a couple more minutes before the man moved forward and disappeared the same way hundreds had before.

Over 700,000 points! How the hell was I supposed to get in if I didn't even have a tenth of what he had. I looked forward to see that I was only a couple of spots away now. Was it even possible to get that high of a score in _? Another step forward. I don't think I've even heard of any even scoring above 60,000 points. Another step forward. If it's not _ that he scored in, then how do our scores in different games determine if we get in or not? Another step forward. Perhaps our proficiency in the game itself was what we were judged upon?

Another step forward. "So, my son, what was your final score?" Jesus said, a smile upon his face.
I smiled back. "37,584," I said, "but points don't matter, does it?"

Jesus smiled. "Of course not," he said as he embraced me in a hug, "it's never about how much you've accumulated, but what you do with it."


To be perfectly honest, that was painful to write. Oh, trust me, I know it's bad. Definitely not up to the quality I expect from myself, but it's actually been a long time since I've written a story. I was doing so well too. I think I just got lazy for a while and then this past week, just as I was trying to get back into it, I got sick and couldn't concentrate on anything. But I've been told that if you want to write, then you have to write... and it's going to be bad. Terrible even. But that's just how it goes. Anytime you try to do something it's going to suck and it's going to suck for a while, for a long while and hopefully it gets better. Anyways, this was based off of the Reddit Writing Prompt "You die, but instead of going to Heaven you see the words, "Game Over" and your final score". To be honest, at the time, I was seeing a lot of these types of prompts and I thought they were stupid, but I finally gave in and wrote something for it. As you can see it really is just a bare bones, outline type story. There could be so much added to it, but I just don't want to do it. Well, that's enough of that, hopefully my next story is a lot better.

Pokemon Go has changed my life, a little

So, I started playing Pokemon Go a week ago

And yesterday, I learned how to take screenshots with my new phone

and I gotta say, it has been everything I hoped for, which was just basically to make walking fun again. I don't know about you, but I hate walking, more so now that I have access to a car 24/7. Yeah, I get that the game has some glitches (or maybe that's just my phone) and there are some things I'm hoping they develop soon (trainer battles?), but, in my opinion, it's lived up to the hype so far. The most unexpected thing about this game is the impact it is currently having on my life.

First off, let's get this out of they way: Why the hell did it take me so long to start playing? Well, as most of you know (and have possibly taunted me for), I had a Windows Phone. Yeah, so no Pokemon Go for me. About two weeks ago, I finally got around to getting a new phone (a horrible experience as the guys at T-Mobile couldn't figure out how to transfer any of my stuff, so, unless it was on my tiny SD card, it's all gone). But, I got a phone that supported the app so my life is complete.

Now, with this new phone I finally got around to playing ... everywhere: at work (not at my desk but when I walk around outside), when I walk the dog (more on that later), while I'm a passenger (if you don't have both hands on the wheel, are you technically no longer the driver?). Basically, anywhere I can get away with it. Unfortunately, I didn't upgrade my data plan so I'm still managing with a 1GB plan. Yes, that's not a typo. 1 GB. I've never needed more since we have wi-fi at home, the Sonic Wall at work doesn't block Reddit (don't tell my boss), my iPod still works perfectly, and I'm still really, really good at just fazing out of reality and day-dreaming. However, at the moment, I've run through almost 300mb of data. In an effort to play more, I've been limiting my data usage, even going so far as to turn off my data when I'm not using it. It's been getting the job done, though it does mean I'm getting Facebook notifications and messages, as well as anything else reliant upon data, much later (meh, if it's important, you'll text).

One thing that was immediately obvious to me was just how far behind I am in this game. Currently, the gyms around me are controlled by Pokemon all with CPs in the 1000s.

Looks like I got a long way to go. Luckily, I'm used to grinding it out thanks to games like Destiny (which I was legitimately addicted to all throughout The Taken King expansion); as well as Monster Hunter (which, recently, I have been playing an unhealthy amount thanks to my urge to catch up with my friends who are so much further along in that game as well, you bastards). However, grinding in this game means going outside, a place I've been avoiding. So, though I have realized that I'll need to go out and do things in the world once again if I'm going to get better Pokemon, I haven't fully committed to it yet. Ugh, outside.

Thanks to Pokemon Go, Candy now gets an extra lap around the block because, well, I need the steps (gotta hatch those eggs - Team Instinct!). Plus, there's a Pokestop on my street so that's three chances to hit it and collect those rewards. And before you go calling PETA and imagining that I'm dragging my poor dog around while I stare at my phone, trust me, she loves the extra walking time. Not spending extra time with me, she couldn't care less about who holds the leash. I think she just likes spending less time in the backyard. And there's not a chance that I can keep my eyes off of her for more than five seconds. Just today, after I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, in the time it took for me to pull my phone out and tap the Pokemon that had just appeared, she managed to sniff out and shove some random piece of something into her mouth. I'm not even sure if it was edible. She just chomped on it for a couple seconds before swallowing it. The other day, I'm pretty sure she ate a rock. So, our new walking technique has been to hold her leash with one hand and keep my other hand on my phone which is stored in my pocket as not to distract me from, well, her (damn dog).

Another reason I keep my phone in my pocket while I'm walking around is because I've become a little self-conscious about playing. You see, I've yet to see anyone else on my block playing Pokemon Go. No one. There's a couple people who walk their dogs, some folks who just go walking but none of them have their phones out. It took me a couple of days to remember that the largest demographic on my block are folks either near my parents age or older, and they all would probably think of me as "that guy who should stop playing kids' games." The next largest group I see around are kids under 12. I'd actually be surprised if any of them had a cellphone (mostly since I got mine in highschool, besides, you're 12, who do you know?). Anyways, I suspect that these kids just think of me as "that creepy guy still playing kids' games." Amendment: it's been pointed out to me that perhaps no one plays on my street because they don't appear as fast as other public places, like malls or parks, and that's why I don't see anyone playing. If that's the case, well, they are missing out.

And now, I'm sure everyone has one of these, but here's my most elusive Pokemon to catch story. I wish I could say that it was something as cool as a Gyarados or a Dragonite, but it is not. Not even close. It was an Ekans. A fucking Ekans! It took me four chances to catch that fucker. The first time it popped up on my screen, I was walking Candy. We were coming to the end of the street and beginning to cross when it appeared behind me. Before I could tap the screen, Candy decided now was the perfect time to break into a run. As tempting as it was to just yank her backwards while I caught the Ekans, I've always allowed Candy to dictate our pace so it meant running too. The second attempt was on the way to the orchid farm. As my dad is driving, I'm hitting every Pokestop between Nanakuli and Waianae. Then it appears, just at the edge of the circle, right behind the trainer symbol! Before I have a chance to rotate the screen, we drove to far away to catch it. Another day, as I'm walking Candy, it appeared again. This time I managed to tap the screen so now we're in capture mode. I'm throwing pokeballs, poorly. Finally, I throw one that misses, again, and it starts rolling away in the background. And keeps rolling. And keeps rolling. And keeps rolling. It takes me until we walked to the end of the street before I realized the game had glitched. I turned it off and then back on, but by then it was gone. Well, fourth time was eventually the charm and now I've got two of them.

And that's the best stories I've got so far. I'm sure there will be more Pokemon Go stories in the future and here's hoping that none of them include bodily injury... to my dog. At least I've got insurance, vet visits are expensive.