The
woods are dark and deep and I’m not sure I want to leave just yet. Escape is
the easiest thing to do – just pick a direction and walk. Everyone knows the
woods have to end somewhere. We’ve ensured that nothing so wild and untamed
goes on forever. Eventually we all leave the journey behind and settle with the
rest of civilization. We left the safety of our homes to play in the woods and
one day we all leave the woods for the structure of life, though some stay
longer than others. The paths converge and diverge, some we travel together and
some we make on our own. So many directions to go and adventures to have but
none of them detours.
But
now we stand at the woods’ edge (me, you, him, her, us, them). Behind us, the
trees wouldn’t let in a single ray of light nor the slightest breeze. Now the
light’s glare shines brighter than anything I’ve seen for as long as I can
remember, than matches, flashlights, hope. The wind chill cuts colder than the
night air, than despair. Uncertainty,
after all, lies not in the woods themselves, but at its borders and I’ve never
been more uncertain or afraid. I’ve played in the woods for so long, I’m not
sure where I am anymore. I’d like to say the fear is just that – the fear that
comes from not knowing what’s outside. If it wasn’t the right path it means
returning back to the deepest and darkest parts of the woods again. Through
trees dense and overgrown and looming like despair and desperation. Crunching
through dead leaves and twigs, snapping like dreams.
Yes,
I’d like to say that’s what I’m afraid of, but the truth is I’ve already been
there before. Confronting old fears is comforting in that they are old fears.
What I’m afraid of is losing you. We’ve been following this path for so long,
I’m not sure anymore as to which of us chose the direction. I can’t leave you
here to fumble and misstep on your own, and I can’t go without you to face the
harsh realities of the “real world” (at least that’s what I’ve heard it called
by those who retreated back to the woods). I look at you, and him, her, us,
them and wonder how we all followed this path to the same goal? And maybe it
isn’t a similar goal, but a similar reason for heading in this direction that
brought us all here – here to our mutual end. I laugh. You laugh. This is the ending.
Our ending. We turn and head back into the woods. After all, the end will still
be here tomorrow but there’s much more fun to be had today.
Once again (just like last year) I did plan to post this on my birthday in the hopes that it gives me, and I guess to some extent yourself, a glimpse of how I see or want this coming year to be. I'm still working at the same job that I've been at since last October and I finally made it to a full-time employee (rather than temp status). I've been trying to keep up with writing but it does seem I've gotten lazy. There's a couple stories right now, but the main characters seem a bit too uncertain as to what they're doing yet.
and yes, Kristian, I blame you entirely for this